June and a picnic at Panshanger

June 26, 2023September 2, 2025 Julie (little Cotton Rabbits)40 Comments

Firstly, I want to say a heartfelt thank you for the kindness that you sent my way via your comments and emails after my previous post. Writing things down here on the blog is somehow easier than saying them out loud, and the process of getting thoughts and feelings into written words is helpful and cathartic. But I’m never sure whether writing so intimately is wise and I know that it turns some people off because the subscribers to my blog always drop a little more when I’ve written something on the gritty side. However I am always humbled by the warmth of the responses that I do receive, and that people who have never met me take time out of their day to reach out with such kindness and compassion. Many of your comments touched me deeply, thank you so much for your generosity of spirit.

Last Monday I took myself off for a solo lunch-time picnic, the last for a while because until the beginning of September I’ll have a daily walking buddy (Toby – incidentally he is almost always calm and content and even sometimes quite affectionate when we are out on our walks, he definitely enjoys quiet outdoor spaces and they do bring out the best in him).

So I headed for Panshanger, which is probably my favourite place in the world, and which always provides so much delight, whatever the season. The calves have grown and are now quite inquisitive, approaching with curiosity rather than holding close to their mums. This heritage herd of English Longhorns are a very peaceful and gentle bunch, and I enjoy visiting them and watching their interactions with each other.

Summer flowers are out in the meadows and there are so many butterflies, bees and bugs darting from flower to flower, nature at it’s busiest and most beautiful.

Back at home I’m using my pictures as reference and working on the cow pattern that I hope to have ready in the autumn. It will be slow going over the summer but I hope to make steady progress and will share some pictures when it’s further along.

Thanks again for visiting here with me and for allowing me the space to share these little snippets of my days. I hope the week ahead is kind to you, see you again soon, J x

Spring into summer

June 15, 2023September 2, 2025 Julie (little Cotton Rabbits)32 Comments

The last few weeks have been even more of a roller-coaster ride than usual here. There have been quite deep lows; Toby’s challenging behaviours have been gradually worsening for a while now and the episodes of his self-injuring and violent behaviour have been escalating. He’s been sent home from college on 3 separate occasions for injuring staff and I currently have multi-coloured grip bruises on both of my forearms to add to my growing collection. Like many other families caring for offspring with severe learning and behavioural difficulties, we live with the constant distressing threat of domestic violence from our own child. Working out what is happening with him is an almost impossible task and we’ve spent so much of our recent free time filling out ABC (antecedent, behaviour, consequence) charts and forensically unpicking details of incidents. On top of that I’ve had food poisoning, though happily short-lived and thankfully in the past now.

But it’s not been all bad, we’ve had big highs too, the biggest being Amy passing her driving test first time. We are delighted for her and the newfound independence this gives her. She’s now driving herself to work each day, which has made my early mornings so much easier and has given her such a confidence boost.

And as always nature is such a balm for a troubled heart so I’ve been out and about soaking up the peace and calm that it always brings me. Hawthorn blossom and wild roses, white nettles and cow parsley, buttercups and butterflies and so much green, more shades than have ever been named or mixed on a painter’s palette. May and early June are abundant with much appreciated beauty.

I’ve also been visiting the long horn cattle regularly, study field trips for my in progress cow pattern, but also delightfully entertaining as they are all such characters and there are 5 beautiful calves this year.

And seeing kit the fox is always a big high for me, she often seems to turn up when I’m feeling low and the privilege of her visits lifts me enormously. And yes, she did sniff my camera lens!

There’s one more week until Toby finishes college for this academic year and then he’ll be off for just over 2 months so we’re planning very calm and predictable routines which we’re hoping will help him find a calmer place within himself. I hope to be back periodically over the summer months, but as he’ll be my main focus I might not get as much chance to hang out here as I’d like.

Until next time I hope you have a good July and August and that you too find ways to temper any challenges you are facing with something that brings you joy, J x

countryside · in the woods · wildlife

The orchard in May

May 25, 2023September 2, 2025 Julie (little Cotton Rabbits)24 Comments

One of my favourite local nature reserves is a tiny hidden gem. It’s not immediately apparent from the road, so you have to know it’s there to know it’s there, and most of the times that I’ve visited I’ve found myself alone and in perfect and peaceful solitude. It’s an old orchard, with twisted, ancient, lichen-encrusted trees from which the most beautifully delicate apple blossoms sprout, in every shade of soft, blushed pink. It’s abuzz with bees and other pollinators and carpeted with drifts of forget-me-nots. Behind the trees there’s a meadow and then a small patch of woodland, which in the springtime is pungent with the smell of the wild garlic growing abundantly under the greening trees and it is home to a large and complex badger sett.

Come and wander along the meandering green pathways with me, mind your head on the overhanging branches. We’ll walk quietly, listening to the bird song and the drone of the bees and when we’re hungry we’ll stop for a picnic lunch at the little bench by the pond, where we’ll watch the ducks squabble over pond weed and breathe deeply the softly fragrant breeze.

Tewin Orchard, early May 2023