The past few months have been some of the most tumultuous so far in our journey with Toby. We’d spent a long time researching and making plans for his life after college, and things looked for a while like they would work out as planned and begin to be a basis to build upon, encouraging him to be more independent of us, with an eye to the future as we age. So many times H and I have turned to each other with a hesitant smile and said ‘hope is kindled’, only to have those hopes dashed, sometimes within days.

Challenging times however do bring their own gift, and that is to remind us of what really matters in our lives. Facing difficulties brings into sharp focus what isn’t really important and what is worth clinging on to. For my part I have been reminded that:

• Toby’s happiness is everything, when he is happy we can be too,
• walking in our beloved and familiar woods is more peaceful and relaxing to me that the most expensive, luxurious holiday abroad, they feel like home to me and to Toby too,
• The word ‘problem’ really just describes the space between our expectation of a thing and the reality of it. If we accept the reality and let our expectations evaporate we have a chance at being happy with the outcome.

Toby has been happy and settled recently. He’s been enjoying the two outdoor activity days at the small holding and the community allotment project and on the five days that we have him here at home he has enjoyed choosing what time to get up (usually after 11am as he does like a nice long lie in) and he’s had a great time on our walks out in the countryside.

The main downside to our new normal here is the lack of work time available to me. But I’m beginning to adapt and have started to pattern write again, (albeit very slowly and sporadically) and I do have lots of ideas for future patterns.

By the way, I want to take this opportunity to say thank you, I don’t think I’ve ever been more grateful to all of you who buy my patterns, because in doing so you enable me to support my family and to be here at home taking care of Toby whilst still earning enough for us to live off. I’m also hugely grateful to the people who spread the word about my patterns with their friends, family and knitting groups and to those who mention me on social media too. I was delighted and flattered to be included in Elise’s round up of Fall knitting and crochet projects. If you don’t already follow Elise Rose Crochet on you tube then you are really missing out, she makes such wonderfully entertaining videos and her enthusiasm for all yarn crafts is both inspiring and infectious, her you tube channel is here.

Well, I’m off to squeeze in a little pattern writing before it’s time to make dinner. Thank you as always for visiting me here and for the words of kindness and support that you send my way, they make life a little brighter and I’m very grateful, J x

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Harvest time photos taken at Tewin Orchard and surrounding fields, September 2024

Late summer socks, in colours that remind me of the orchard, knitted in the ‘Cliff walk at Pourville’ minis, one of the Monet mini skein sets from The Knitting Shed.

Sunset from my bedroom window 🙂

 

June brings early summer here in the south of England. Not that you’d know it from the recent weather though; chilly winds, frequent rain showers and a distinct lack of sunshine have meant it’s been feeling much more like March and I’ve not yet put away the winter woollies. I’m not really complaining though, cooler temperatures are more conducive to knitting and to long country walks, and thanks to the unseasonable weather the countryside is still clothed in the bright, verdant green of spring. The early spring flowers have though given way to the summer ones; meadows of delicate grasses sprinkled with ox-eye daisies, verges of cow parsley and hedgerows of elderflowers, bramble flowers and dog roses, all so very pretty.

Back at home I’ve been slightly obsessed with knitting jeans for some reason, having switched my colour focus from greens to blues. This indigo dyed cotton yarn (Scheepjes Skies light) is perfect for knitted jeans and when it’s washed the colour leaches out a little (though it’s leaching during knitting too, as you can see from my hands) and you can give a little extra rubbing to the knees so they look a little worn in.

Since the start of the year I’ve been dreading the arrival of June. Over the last 18 years, whilst Toby has been at school and more recently at special needs college, we’ve built safe and comfortable routines that help him to manage the everyday things that everyone else does without a second thought. He’s had somewhere to go that helps to fill his time with some meaningful activities, giving him experiences he wouldn’t otherwise have had and providing us with much needed respite time in which to work, rest and recharge. Tomorrow is the very last day of ‘full time education’ for him and what comes next is as yet untested, unknown and uncertain, which is never a comfortable place to be when autism is a factor.

I began this blog in 2006, on the day before Toby started school aged four years old, and in some ways it would be fitting to finish writing here today on the day before he finishes college and we begin a new chapter in family life. It is something I’ve thought about, simply because life is about to get more complicated and free time will be more limited, but the truth is I’m not ready to go just yet. Putting together this blog encourages me to contemplate all that is positive in life, to go out and take pictures, to sit quietly and edit them and to write about my small and simple adventures and love of knitting. And when I have opened up about the struggles we sometimes face, you – my community of blog readers, have never failed to generously gift me words of kindness, compassion and wisdom, I would miss doing this and all of you terribly. So I’m staying for now, though service may be disrupted for a bit whilst we find our feet and forge new routines.

Well, I’m off to do a little quiet and calming knitting, I hope that the rest of June is kind to you, hopefully see you soon, J x