autism – Page 26 – little cotton rabbits

Poor old Toby’s been a bit under the weather this weekend. I think it’s just a cold but it’s not always that easy to tell. Sometimes it’s hard to tell even if he is unwell and even when you establish that he is, it’s usually impossible to say for certain whether he has a headache, earache, sore throat or all of the above because he just can’t tell me where it hurts. There is a theory about autism known as mindblindness which sums all this up pretty well: autistic people assume that everyone knows what they are thinking so they don’t understand the need to communicate that they’re hungry, cold, in pain etc. Toby has never pointed at anything (a common autistic trait) nor has he ever drawn my attention to anything he is interested in. It is exactly like he just assumes I already know. One time I found him just standing in his room, all tangled up with the cord on his roman blind – he’d been upstairs for 20 minutes and I’d assumed he was playing quietly – goodness knows how long he’d been stuck but the point is he didn’t utter a sound to get my attention, just stood there waiting for me. I felt like such a bad mummy and needless to say I don’t really let him out of my sight anymore. Anyway, after 3 nights of little sleep because he was so snuffly, he’s seeming a little better today and he’s gone back to school.

I have written up the pattern for the stockings – hopefully in some kind of understandable knitting jargon. I’ve added some photos to show certain steps and will be improving on these and adding some pattern design suggestions shortly. If you are feeling adventurous and fancy giving it a go please drop me a note and let me know how you got on (this is my first foray into pattern writing – I usually work off scribbled notes and memory!) Similarly if you try it and get stuck just contact me and I’ll try to help. Good luck!!!

Pattern is here on Ravelry: Mini Christmas Stocking Ornaments

One of the most frustrating things about autism is the lack of communication. I can’t tell Toby stuff as he doesn’t comprehend language. I couldn’t tell him that he was going to school, how
long he’d be there and that I’d be missing him every second that he was gone. Toby is at distance from the world we know – this picture pretty much sums it up

Having said that he is coping very well with starting school this week. He’s been a little blotchy around the eyes on his arrival home each afternoon (a sure sign of tears during the day) and he was bitten by one of the other children but on the whole he’s pretty relaxed considering how monumentally upended his secure little world has been.

Toby & I do have an wonderful non-verbal language of our own involving touch, hugs, kisses and giggles. He gives big cuddles and fat, wet kisses as soon as he gets home and snuggles into my lap with a contentment that clearly communicates he’s pleased to see me. He can communicate his basic needs through PECS where he brings a picture of the thing he wants to me. As you can imagine though this is pretty limited (mostly to food and toys) but I hope as he grows he’ll be able to expand his vocabulary and communicate more about how he feels, maybe one day he may even learn to speak. For now I’m just happy that he’s managed the big step of starting school so well. The old chestnut ‘Live one day at a time’ is the motto in our house.

on a lighter note:

I love this time of year as it heralds the arrival of lots of fat glossy mail order catalogues. I am addicted – much to Huw’s disgust as he spends 10 mins searching through the stacks for his mail. There are so many beautiful things out there and I like to browse and pick out what I’d buy if money were no object. Sometimes I actually order stuff!! In fact I have just treated myself to a beautiful new knitting bag

(courtesy of Cath Kidston)