Well the school half-term break has been and gone and we were getting back into term time routines when Toby came down with a vomiting bug. Poor Toby has had more than his fair share of illness this winter, perhaps his system has been weakened by the growth spurt he’s been going through – it seems that he’s visibly grown every morning when he gets out of bed and he’s not far off H in height now. Happily he’s over the bug and back at school now, a little thinner and a little taller and still with his poor old callouses from the hand biting that remains a too frequent part of his days.
Over the half term break we spent some time trying to expand Toby’s P.E.C.s vocabulary by starting on descriptive symbols. Motivation is the key to P.E.C.s (which is why teaching it often fails in schools here, as they refuse to use food items as request-able and why on earth would any child want to jump through hoops to request a red cup or a green sock?) Luckily at home we don’t have those restrictions and I use Toby’s favourite foods all the time to re-enforce his use of P.E.C.s vocabulary and to motivate him to be more communicative with us. Recently he’s discovered a love of twister ice-lollies. These come in a pack of half red-with-green-middle and half green-with-red-middle and for some reason Toby doesn’t like the ones with the red outside. So when he’s brought the ‘I want lolly’ request to me I’ve been making him choose which colour.
It’s working really well and he’s now independently adding the green symbol to the lolly on his request strip. So green lollies is all he gets and I have a freezer filling up with red ones because although Amy likes them she’s out so much of the time and she can’t match Toby’s lolly eating pace!
True to form I didn’t see much of Amy over the half term break – apart from at mealtimes (when she miraculously appears, eats and disappears back to her room again in stereotypical teenager fashion) or in the car (when I’m driving her to or from somewhere – friends house, music gigs, shops etc.). I’m trying to give her the space she so obviously needs at this point in her life but it is hard not knowing her so well anymore and I worry about her safety. I can only hope that all we’ve taught her so far about the world is enough to keep her safe as she forges her independence.
In the rare half-term moments that I wasn’t being mum, I worked on a new shawl – a long crescent shape one which I hope I’ll find easier to wear than the triangular ones I’ve previously made. That’s it in the picture at the top of the post, it’s from a pattern called ‘Crescendo’ by Janina Kallio – the yarn and pattern details are on my ravelry project page. Of course I know that knitting directly from an unravelling piece of knitting that didn’t work out is a cardinal knitting sin and one I’ll probably regret (as the yarn is still crinkly it will not knit up as evenly and I should have unwound it, soaked it, dried it and wound it into a ball before using it) but I was feeling lazy and I hope that during blocking the finished shawl will forgive me and turn out well!
I’ve also baked; our new favourite cake is Nigella’s easy almond cake which has marzipan melted within it and is deliciously almond scented and moist. I make 1/3rd of the recipe quantity and bake in a half pound loaf tin – the perfect quantity for a small cake as it’s mostly me that eats it, especially for breakfast with a strong cup of tea.
More birds have been coming into our garden thanks to the feeders and seed that my Mum and Dad gave me at Christmas. I love watching them flit between the feeders and the plum tree and recently we’ve had goldfinches, blue tits, great tits, long tailed tits, chaffinches, sparrows, dunnocks, blackbirds and a couple of lesser spotted woodpeckers.
Lastly I’ve enjoyed the blooming of the little pot of narcissi that I brought home from my friend’s funeral, a small and delicate reminder that beauty doesn’t often last and though some people may not be here as long as they should, they can remain and be treasured in the memories we have of them.
little cotton rabbits 
Hooray! So pleased to see a post from you, always brightens my day. Fantastic that Toby is making some progress with his communication, and that you’ve identified the perfect incentive! How well I identify with your teenage experience – my son turns 13 at the end of this week, and already it seems I hardly see him, apart from mealtimes – when inevitably he’s grumpy about something!
You are so lucky to have such a variety of birds – even with bird feeders, the only wildlife in my garden tends to be a couple of wood pigeons, some magpies, a robin if we’re lucky, and some very fearless rats – some of whom have been living in the garden shed, as I discovered yesterday… not a pleasant surprise to open the door to find droppings, and then a rat leaping down from a top shelf and out through the hole he’d made in the floor!
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glad you are still treasuring memories of your friend xxx and happy that Toby is both better and using colour x as for cake for breakfast – I like your style xxxx
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It’s so lovely to drop in here and read your news Julie. Sorry about the vomiting bug – they’re always rather grim aren’t they, but brilliant news about Toby’s lolly-based vocab.
I love to idea of almond cake for breakfast. What a soothing treat. Exciting to see your woodpecker there! Have you seen the images of the weasel riding on the back of a green woodpecker in a London park? I could hardly believe my eyes.
Emma x
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I’m so glad you’re seeing improvement with Toby’s vocabulary. It must feel like quite a victory! Thank you for sharing the cake recipe; small daughter absolutely loves marzipan so I think she would like this cake too – we’ll definitely give it a go. I may not let her eat it for breakfast but I think I might need to try that 🙂 xx
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What a beautiful sentiment in that last paragraph. Good to see a post again. Big hugs from across the pond!
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It’s the little things. Spring is just around the corner…
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Glad to hear Toby’s on the mend, and the PEC request strip is very cool, and no doubt Toby’s very pleased to be able to clearly communicate what he wants. THank you for the link to the Nigella Lawson’s almond cake- I have some left over marzipan from some recent baking and this is going to be just the thing! Your shawl looks lovely already, and I think it’ll be just fine- a good long soak int he sink when you are going to wet block it and all will be forgiven. I’ve done it myself before. 😉
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I really like the color request system, though I can see that it would work much better with ice pops than socks. I’m glad it’s helping Toby. Take care, spring is almost here.
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Poor Toby, so glad he’s back to school again though and well done with the communication cards, it must be extremely satisfying for both you and Toby when the communication works, definitely worth a freezer full of red lollies! 🙂
I love the colour of your shawl, beautiful!
V x
P.S. Oh and I’m sure your lovely daughter will be just fine!
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It’s so lovely to hear from you, Julie. You’re so inspiring! It looks like Toby’s doing wonders with the P.E.C.’s~~a tribute to your hard work. That shawl looks dreamy…I just love the lace work on it. I really like the idea of giving little plants to people at the funeral and your commemoration was poignant. Great to hear form you again!! Hugs, Maire (who now must check out Ravelry).
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Lovely to see you posting and I’m sure the shawl will be just fine – I empathise with just wanting to get going on it!
PECS is great and you are so right to use what motivates your son. We all work better for appropriate motivators, whatever they are. The rest of us make the choice so why shouldn’t Toby.
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Poor Toby, I’m glad he’s all better now. The PEC looks like a good way to improve communication, and you’re right, food can be a really good motivator. The shawl is looking good. A nice slice of cake and a little knitting sounds quite blissful. I made a different Nigella cake today – cherry and almond loaf, but I do like the sound of yours, I might try that one next time. CJ xx
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Lovely post as always. I’m glad to read Toby is making good progress. Such a great idea to use items that he can really relate to. The shawl looks beautiful; I love the colour. The narcissi from your friend’s funeral are beautiful. It’s true that they will fade but the memories of your friend will be with you forever. A couple of posts ago when you mentioned your friend I wrote that my friend was in hospital with pneumonia and septicaemia. She sadly died not long after. It’s been a difficult few weeks trying to come to terms with the loss of my best friend and God mother to my children. Knitting is helping and memories of happier days of course. Until your next post…xx
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Those lollies look like some icypoles we get here called cyclones which are very yummy. Glad to see that Toby’s feeling much better too. I think your daughter is going through the same thing mine is at the moment. She is 13 and spending more time in her room talking to friends on her ipod. I am sure our girls are responsible and have been taught well about safety outside the home too, and yes it is a bit sad when they start to grow up and dont share as much with us but one day they will again. Your shawl is looking beautiful too. I hope that March brings many good things for you.
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Lovely to read about what’s going on with you as always. Your last paragraph was very poignant and is something that I need to remember at the moment, thank you. The shawl looks lovely and I agree, triangles are fun to knit, not so much to wear. After two years of doing nothing but I’ve stopped knitting shawls because I don’t like wearing them. I’ve just finished your fairisle wristwarmers and love them, thank you for sharing the pattern so generously. X
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We thought of you today as we went on a snowdrop hunt in our locality,before they begin to fade..and found a wonderful churchyard, with snowdrops and squills and crocus. The sun shone, and I sat and looked. Sometimes that is all that’s needed! Glad Toby is better,and has taken another step forward . …just love the idea of soft almond cake for breakfast…think I’ll be baking tomorrow! Love. Jenni xx
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Lovely to read your post! Good to hear Toby is better now and doing well with his vocab. Your cake sounds wonderful I am off to look at the recipe. Your knittin looks beautiful…we used to hold the unknitted wool over the steam from the kettle, then hang it to dry, was amazing as a kid watching the kinks fall out. Your snow drops are beautiful, lovely memories for you.
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Good Morning Julie,
I love looking in once a month to see if you have posted. I love the idea of giving bulbs at a funeral, once planted you have a wonderful memory every year. Poor Toby, he has had a ruff time, glad to hear that he is feeling better and loving those icy poles. You have so much patience and love for your little boy and like my sister you will never give up trying to make his life more accessible to the outside world. I love your photos Spring is in the air although here in Austria we are getting more snow. So we will have to wait a little longer.
I made your cake last night, halved the recipe (wish I made the whole, as it was so delicious) I made the orange sauce and served with creme fraiche.´
Your knitting is amazing. I don’t have the patience or time to do some of your more amazing works but i have knitted snuggle rugs for all my friends this winter. I have found that very smoothing.
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Wow — those P.E.C’s look wonderful — Toby is lucky to have such a wonderful Mum to figure out incentives that will work for him. I remember those teenage years all too well – it’s so hard with a child who wants their independence and doesn’t want to communicate much with you. I had one who stayed close and wanted to talk a lot and one who didn’t. I think, if I had it to do over again, I would have been a little more obnoxious and butted in a little more to my quiet one’s life — I wanted to give him his space back then, but, looking back, I think he needed it the most. And thanks for the Almond Cake recipe — I love most anything almond, and your cake looks delicious!
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Hi, I love the gentle and artistic way you write your blog. Very inspiring. I have seen through the years of a teenage girl and often felt the way you describe here. I ultimately trusted she would be okay – and used my self as a point of ref (i.e. I knew not to go too far as a teen!) Kids can often be like we were (or are).
I too deal with AS, but as the pain can get so great and as my son gets older I have gone quieter about it on my blog, but use my site as a vehicle for exploring my art more – that is what keeps me going. There’s something re-assuring about reading other’s journeys too. I love the internet for that. If you ever want to pop over you’re more than welcome 😉 I’ve just recently linked to some of my favourite blogs and yours is there 🙂
Here’s to better times – I know well about motivation (or lack of!) Amelia.x
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I really feel very comforted when I read your blog and I really enjoy the thoughts you share on day to day life with your family as well as your knitting. My younger brother has autism, and he was never very keen on his P.E.Cs, but I do remember food being a helpful tool so you have found as well:) he is 23 now and living away from home, being too big to live with us now. My mum would have loved your insights and I read your posts always thinking of her and how she would comment on the things you write (my brother also has the callus’ on his hands for example). So I hope you take it as a compliment when I say I’m comforted to read your blog, and I hope you and everyone at your home are doing well! Your knitting is also beautiful (I won’t tell anyone about knitting from unravelling – I do it all the time! shh) and I’m excited to see how it turns out 🙂
forgive my rambly comment! I think I will have to buy a Twister lolly later myself (green all the way!) jenny xx
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Just been catching up on your blog and it sounds like you’ve been through it a bit in the last month or so. My thoughts are with you…especially about losing your friend..so sad.
Sounds like Toby’s had a bit of a tough time too. You probably already know about chewlery, but I thought I’d share in any case. We bought chewlery from Chewigem (http://chewigem.co.uk/) and were very impressed with their products. My DD2 was chewing through clothes, finger nails etc and we got her a couple of the necklace pendants and it’s working well as a replacement. I’m not sure if it would be appropriate for Toby, but I thought I’d mention it in any case.
Sending my best wishes ((hugs))
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Firstly, I’m so sorry about your friend, it really makes one think about things doesn’t it. So sad.
Poor toby, sounds like he’s had a tough time of it and those poor hands x
Lollies over cups? no contest!
Sending lots of love your way
love Jooles x x x
P.s that cake sounds delish, I’m off to see if i can find the recipe and in the meantime enjoy yours!
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I appreciate your uplighting posts…always glad to hear when things are going better for you and your family.
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Hi there just reading your blog and my son who is currently 4 years old diagnosed with lowfunctioning ASD he also hates having his hair cut now. When he was younger and the autism wasn’t as apparent he didn’t mind having his hair cut. Now that has all changed and he can’t go to the hairdressers at all, so I do it at home with a no. 8 fixture for clippers. He however hates the sound and sensation so I use the hairdryer on the cool setting whist doing it, I just let it blow through his hair. I’ve found this helps massively, as he can’t say what it is that distresses him the most. Perhaps it will help you?
Amy
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