Having an autistic child in the family means that life is never predictable but this last week has thrown us a few extra loop-the-loops in roller-coaster ride.
Monday:
On Monday I had a call from school to say that Toby had managed to peel an adhesive drug patch off of another pupil and had chewed it. The drug patch is designed to deliver a slow steady dose through the skin over a 72 hour period and is not intended to be ingested and as Toby had given it a good chew for a few minutes or more he'd obviously swallowed most of the drug. The school nurse suggested I call our GP for advice so I phoned the GP but the receptionist could only take a message and suggested I call 111. NHS 111 wouldn't give me advice as Toby wasn't with me so I called the school nurse back to explain that I could get no advice. By this time Toby had started to have a reaction to the drug and one of his pupils had fully dilated. The school nurse then decided to call the National Poisons Information Service at Guy's hospital who were able to confirm that based on Toby's weight and the dosage of the patch he had not consumed a toxic dose but that it would be good to take him to hospital as a precaution.
Hospital for an autistic child is a deeply stressful, unpredictable and frightening place, especially for Toby who has had a bad experience. When he was six I took him to A&E as I was worried about a non-blanching rash he'd developed after a high fever and throwing up. It turns out that he'd just burst a load of capillaries from vomiting violently but at the time I was worried about meningitis. Despite thinking that he did not have meningitis the pediatrician insisted on taking blood to run cultures on but it took 4 adults to hold Toby down in order to do this. They pinned each of his limbs and he screamed until his tongue turned blue and I was crying and begging them to stop and it was the most stressful and frightening experience of my life. I vowed at that moment that I would never again take him unless I was sure that he was in danger and so (based on the information from Guys hospital about the non-toxicity of the dose) I brought him home, gave him plenty to drink and watched him like a hawk. By evening his pupil had started to shrink and he was calm and behaving normally but even so I decided to sleep with him so I could watch him all night. Having read up on the drug since I've found that even a small dose can have serious side effects (although rare) including hallucinations, heart problems and anaphylactic shock, so we were lucky that Toby only had a mild reaction.
Tuesday:
By Tuesday morning his pupil was normal, as was his behaviour, so I sent him in to school. The day was a hugely emotional one for me as I attended the funeral of a fellow mum who I first met when Amy and her son were in the same class at nursery. Her second son is the same age as Toby and she and the boys came to tea a few times when the children were younger. Around 7 years ago (a year or so after the birth of her daughter) she was diagnosed with breast cancer but she had successful treatment and, being who she was, took everything in her stride and carried on with devoting herself to raising her family. But last year the cancer returned with a vengeance and she eventually lost her battle with it in late January.
I've not been to many funerals and those I have were for elderly relatives who had lived full and long lives. To attend the funeral of a friend of your own age, with three young children makes you take stock of your own life, re-assess your priorities and remind yourself to appreciate all that is really important in life. The service had a very large attendance, outside of her family and closet friends there were many, many mums who had got to know her through the many different aspects of school life that she involved herself in. We each took a flower to lay on her coffin as we filed out after the service and it was very moving to see all of these individual blooms and sprigs representing the love and friendship that everyone felt for her. The wake was full of chatter and laughter as we sat and shared memories of how she touched our lives while a screen on the wall flashed up a stream of pictures of her from childhood to parenthood. As we left we were each given a pot of narcissi to plant in our own gardens (she loved gardening and had created the most beautiful space for her family).
Wednesday and Thursday:
I spent Wednesday quietly, thinking lots and doing a little knitting.
When Toby arrived home from school I could tell at once that he wasn't well. He was huffing and puffing and looked pale but flushed at the same time. The thermometer confirmed that he had a temperature of 102 and I got him into his jammies, dosed him up with calpol and settled him in the sofa bed. As is usual with Toby his temperature spiked at around 103 and he had shivers which always make him giggle! I spent the night with him again (as I always do when he's unwell) and on Thursday we watched Cbeebies and had a quiet day together. By Thursday lunch time to fever had gone and he was hungry. He was increasingly active throughout the rest of the day and ate a big dinner. So it seems like he just had one of usual 24 hour bugs.
Friday:
After a goodish-for-Toby nights sleep I sent him in to school but ended up wishing I hadn't as he chewed a drug patch again! I'd hoped that some lessons would have been learnt in school and measures put in place to ensure that the same thing couldn't happen in future, so it's deeply worrying that he was able to do it again. At least this time he'd only had it in his mouth for a few seconds and he didn't seem to have a reaction.
I'm pondering what to make of such a week and I can't help feeling like there is something necessary for me to learn from these out-of-the-ordinary experiences. For the last few weeks I feel I've been chasing my tail, trying to keep on top of a growing list of undones and tearing around trying to cram too much in. I've often been feeling hassled, frazzled and a bit grumpy. So maybe it's all about embracing the thoughts that came to me after my friend's funeral – value each day and be thankful for what you have, right here and right now.
little cotton rabbits 
Julie, my heart goes out to you at the loss of your friend and the anxious moments with Toby. Your sweet serenity must calm everyone even if in the inside you feel something else.
Sening you sunshine and love.
Xo
Dagmar
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Oh what a nightmare week! So glad Toby wasn’t seriously ill but I do think you should give the school a rocket for letting the patch chewing happen twice. They seem to be rather lax in their duty of care. I hope you are all having a restful and fun weekend after a week like that!
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What a terrible, terrible week! Hopefully next week will be better. I’ve had a couple of friends die this year so I know a bit of what you’re going through. It made me think a lot about mortality and how I’m living my life. I think you’re right, live each day with a thankful heart and enjoy the little thing in life. I like what Dagmar said above, sending you sunshine and love.
Jill
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Julie, my heart goes out to you experiencing such a challenging week. I do hope things settled for you asap and you can regroup and recharge. Reading about your friends funeral is so very sad, these moments really make us stop and think and be thankful don’t they. Take care and I do hope Toby doesn’t chew any more patches. Take care of yourself. Elaine
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That was quite a week. I’m sorry for all the difficulties and the loss of your friend. It must have been so hard to say goodbye to her. I hope things with Toby settle down. Hopefully now that he has been sick, he’ll be healthy for a while. Sometimes I like it when they get sick because it seems like I’m getting it out of the way. Take care, many hugs to you.
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That was a difficult week for you! Take some time to yourself and relax!AriadnefromGreece!
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As the mum of a child with profound special needs, I so understand the worry and the frustration when things happen that you think could have been prevented. I also deeply understand the stress of ER visits. You’re the first mum I’ve ever encountered who can relate. Wishing you a gentle week ahead. x
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A rough week for you ((hugs)) I can’t think of the right words to type. But I care.
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Dear Julie, what a difficult week, sending you love and good wishes for a more restful time in the coming weeks. Sorry for the loss of your friend lovely lady, with love, Susan xx
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I can’t believe you even managed to put this post together! You poor thing! And poor Toby! I do hope now that things can return to normal for you. I’m so sorry about the loss of your friend. I was diagnosed with a rare cancer three year ago, when my children were just one and two and a half. I was told I was going to die and that I should start thinking about the end. I beat it, against all the odds and as a result I try and make the most of every day and be happy every day. Life can be hard, but it is life. Live it x
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((HUGS))
Sounds like a tough week – hopefully this next week will bring better times.
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What a week, hope things are better as this new week approaches xxx
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It’s almost a year ago that I also lost a fellow school mum. It was sudden and she left behind three beautiful children. Even though you’ve had a tough week it makes you look at things differently. Maybe even being thankful for sleepless nights. Fingers crossed for an uneventful week for Toby. Sarah
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So sorry you’ve had such an emotionally challenging week! Your post made me feel guilty about feeling resentful and grumpy when too many demands are made on my time (as perceived by me). You are right: life is short and we should all count our blessings, however fleeting. I too take refuge and find solace in knitting and crochet and could not live without it. Here’s hoping Toby and you have a better week ahead. Lizzy xx
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I cannot help but admire your strength and dignity Julie. You have had the week from hell but here you are telling us about it and trying to find something positive about it, I think the majority of us would be in a heap somewhere.
I’m so glad Toby got through his week unharmed and back to full health after his bug, I do think the school should be a bit more vigilant though!!!
I’m really sorry about your friend, these things are never easy but as you say valuing every day is important, not always easy to do but something we should all strive for.
Wishing you a much calmer time this week,
V x
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Vous avez eu une très grosse semaine. Comme vous l’avez écrit, il faut profiter de chaque instant avec les personnes que nous aimons. Prenez soin de vous et continuez à nous inspirer avec les modèles de vos tricots et aussi par vos expériences de vie.
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When I saw your potted bulbs I thought “oh how lovely!” because we have snow, ice and freezing rain today. After reading your post I still think they are lovely, but even more beautiful for what they represent. Such a wonderful way to spread cheer after a very sad occasion.
I dropped off a pot of daffodils this week to a friend who had surgery for a brain tumour–waiting to hear results on Tuesday. Again, a fellow school mum and I feel sick with worry for the family.
That was quite a scary week with Toby–you must be exhausted from the vigilance and worry. I really hope this is a better week, and that no more drug patches are chewed up.
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What a difficult week, I’m so sorry you and Toby have had to go through this. And so desperately sorry about your young friend. It really does remind me how much I have to be thankful for. You are in my thoughts tonight Julie, and I hope that this coming week is a good one for you and that you are able to have some calm time to yourself. Don’t worry about that list too much, just be kind to yourself and do the minimum for now. You can tackle the rest of it another time when things are a bit better. CJ xx
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Such a tough week Julie, and I think to take the view you have is absolutely the right thing to do – none of us know what is around the corner, we only get one go at this life – as you say, value each and every day. Big hugs ,
Kate xx
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Dear Julie,
What a catalogue of disasters. I am truly sorry for every single challenge/hardship you have endured, Julie, truly sorry.
I don’t know if there is anything to be learned from such moments. Perhaps to allow the stress levels to subside and maybe, in time, things will look clearer.
I’ve been going through a complete upheaval of a very different kind to you. January has been a roller coaster in our home too. Let’s just go with the flow and wish for light at the end of the tunnel.
I hope you have some time to unwind, Julie. I can imagine it’s not always easy to find.
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Oh Julie, my heart has gone out to you this week. What a time you’ve had. My advice is to forget about all the undone stuff and just enjoy now. X
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Undone stuff? What undone stuff? 😉 what has been done during the day is finished and you’ve done PLENTY! They might think about putting some colored stickers with an unhappy smiley or something Toby doesn’t like on the medecine patches of other kids at school… Frankly, those patches should not be admitted in schools at all or well hidden in a place that can not be easily reached by another kid. I’m a teacher with kids between 11 to 15 in France and I can tell you Toby is not the only one to do “silly” things… Loads of love!
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Take some time to rest and relax……hope next week is a lot better.
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My heart goes out to you reading this post. I hope you have found time to stop and breathe. I’ve had a roller coaster week too for different reasons but this weekend has at least been peaceful. I hope yours has too. Take care, Jane x
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What a terrible stressful emotional week for you Julie. I find that when things are calm and good that I know it will change and things will be shaken up to remind us of what we have and to value it. I hope that you have managed to take care of yourself as well with some healing time. I hope Toby doesnt chew any more drug patches either, cheeky boy.
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What a ride you’ve been on. Thinking of you this week and hoping you have a much better one.
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Hope next week will be smooth sailing.
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i was very sorry to read about the difficult week you have had with Toby and am so sorry for the loss of your friend. What a beautiful send off she had. I was horrified to read about the experience you had with Toby in A&E when he was little. It’s no wonder you wouldn’t want to go back.
Your final paragraph just about sums up how I am feeling at the moment; caring for my mother who suffered a heart attack before Christmas and now requires open heart surgery and this evening learning that my very dear friend is lying in intensive care with pneumonia and septasemia. The Doctors are not sure if she will pull through. She’s 52. I have certainly learnt to slow down, not take anything for granted, love those most important to us (even when plates fail to make it to the dishwasher and crumbs are left on the chopping board after a sandwich making session!) and simply take one day at a time.
I can only hope that the weeks and months that lay ahead get better in time for you Julie.
With very best wishes, Helena. X
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Sending you very big hugs and prayers for a much better week ahead. It is awful to lose someone close, I have only been to a couple of funerals that were not elderly relatives and is so heart-breaking when you look at those left behind. I have certainly changed my life since the last one when a friend died of cancer after a short illness. I am a lot kinder to myself about what I can achieve and have stopped fretting about what cannot be changed. Each day is a gift (sometimes one you wan to return!) but a gift nonetheless.
Stay strong, you are doing a fantastic job.
Alison xxx
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Julie, I so enjoy reading your posts. Your writing is so beautiful, I feel for you when things don’t go as planned and feel happiness when things are good. I hope things are better next week and yes the death of a young person is very hard to except.
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Kristen would have wonderful words of advice to give to you. She has that way of words. As I read your post, my emotions went from being worried about Toby, to my heart filling with understanding at your sleeping with Toby and watching his every move, to wishing I could give you a hug during such a hard time, life….. it is so short and precious, to giggling at the thought of Toby giggling as he shivered to exasperation at the school for letting potential harm come again to Toby!!!! to once again, wanting to just hold you and give you a hug.
My only words of comfort, if they be of comfort is: Let go, and let God.
Give Him your worries. As my sister jokes and says, no need to be up all night worrying, He’s going to be up all night anyway. Give it to Him. There’s some truth to that.
Life is too short. Live and breathe in the moment. This moment. Right now and bask in the positive and the good. Like your bulbs you were given. Look up. Reach up. And when all else fails…… you live in the land of good chocolate for crying out loud!!! Oh that I were so lucky. Why in the world does the USA have such crappy chocolate?!
I love you my friend!!!
XXXXXX
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I always learn something from reading your blog. Keep writting please!
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Oh, Julie.
Just when you think you’re worrying about everything you possibly can… who would have thought of that?!
Hope Toby is doing well, and hugs to you – wish I could actually give you one!
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(((HUGS)))
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A terribly rough week for you and Toby too, hugs all round….the sadness of losing your friend
too can really have us rethinking everything we do…may the weeks ahead be kinder to you xo
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Dear Julie I wanted to send you hugs and love and my deepest sympathies on the loss of your friend.
I hope the school has finally got that the patch incident was not a one-time anomaly and works on covering them and supervising Toby.
Life’s been a roller coaster here too I will take your advice and remember to appreciate the here and now more. Hugs and thank you for sharing, wishing you a quiet and calm time in the next few weeks.
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What a week! I can’t imagine how hard it would be to hear about your son chewing on a drug patch twice. I certainly don’t know the situation or both sides of the strory, but my mom works in an elementary school with special needs kids and I know they are usually such hard working, loving people who often get blamed for things that are difficult if not impossible to control. The perfect situation would be if our schools could have more money for staffing in these situations. As it is, there are usually only a small number of underpaid, underappreciated teachers.
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Sorry you had such a bad week…the funeral would have been plenty to deal with! I also attended the funeral of a mum I worked with who lost her battle with Colorectal cancer. I felt the same shock and anguish for the 4 girls and husband she leaves behind. It’s the first funeral I’ve attended from my generation too. I’ll have a lot more empathy for the feelings of others in this situation now & was cross at myself that I could be so naive.
Hope your son is better – try to spend some more time in your woods, enjoying a swim and the sunset at the beach over the weekend really helped me re-assess and find peace xx
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tough week.. sorry you had a very bad week. hope everything will be fine next week.
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I am so sorry for your roller coaster week. Glad Toby is ok. There is nothing more worrying than looking after out little ones. I too list a close school mum friend 18 months ago who left behind 3 children under the age if 12. It taught me to live a little more. Hold my young ones closer a little more and not worry about sticking quite so rigedly to rules. Hoping that this coming week is less frazzled for you. Sending live from a huge admirer if your wonderful blog x
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What a horrid week for you. Death is hard to cope with but seems so unfair for a young person to die leaving a family. I hope Toby’s problems settle for a bit and you get some much needed relaxation.
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Oh my…what an exhausting week. School are really dropping the ball there, but I’m sure you’ve already had that conversation!
Hoping this week is more peaceful, with time for you to sip some tea, knit a little, and catch your breath.
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Thank you for sharing your blog even when life is difficult. Please know that there are ‘web’ friends that are thinking of you and sending huge hugs of support. Wishing you continued strength xx
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I feel for you after such a week. What a lovely sounding lady your friend was, and her family. How fortunate for you to have known her.
Here’s hoping you have a more peaceful time with Toby, and maybe some time for yourself.
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There’s nothing like the funeral of someone your own age to make you realise that we’re not all immortal after all. It’s quite a sobering thought. I’m glad that Toby wasn’t harmed by the drug patch, although for it to happen twice isn’t an accident, it’s irresponsibility on the part of the school. You seem remarkably calm, considering! Sending you lots of love xx
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I am familiar with the shocking reality of the funeral of someone close to your age, and though it is tragic and traumatic, you are right—it offers a chance to appreciate and savor your daily life in a way only tragic events can. My heart goes out to you in this time. You have handled yourself and your son with such grace and heart, and that is a true testament to your character and the legacy of your life.
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What a week you have had Julie.. very frightening indeed to have known Toby had chewed the drug patch, not once but twice!!! the school definitely need to be more aware of the possible dangers this poses…..truly relieved to hear Toby is well xx sending sympathies for you, on the passing of your friend, life truly is to be lived and enjoy every moment…. Your a wonderful lady, do take care and I hope you can enjoy sometime for yourself this week… Blessings xx
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That sounds like an awful week. The school really need to do something about Toby being able to get hold of the patches to chew.
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Sending you big hugs Julie! Can’t the little boy in Toby’s class wear his patch somewhere where Toby won’t see it? There must be a better way! I should give you a little warning — I’m going to see your fan Bonnie next week and I’m sure your ears will be burning as we discuss your beautiful little animals!!! ;-DDDDD
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Just sat down with a cup of tea perhaps expecting to see ‘cosy (part 2) on you blog, but found the rollercoaster instead.
I’m amazed at this event in your life and in your ability to relate it here. Maybe writing it down will have given you some solace but. if not, I hope you will find peace among needles and yarn.
I loved the narcissi idea and they will soon bloom and remind you of happy times spent with your friend.
I trust Toby’s school will be extra vigilant – perhaps the gifts of peppermint bark will be a bit depleted next Christmas.
Thinking of you.
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Goodness, they say things happen in threes but what an awful week for you. I totally agree with others on here that those drug patches are clearly too easily accessible to other children, it seems so silly to allow them in a classroom with children who don’t have the same perception of danger other children do. So glad there was no serious side effects for poor Toby x
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…and even after all of that the sun keeps on cominig up forcing us to embrace a new day, hoping for better and putting one foot in front of the other. Find moments to be grateful for when the big picture gets too overwhelming.
Tell them to put the “patch” under clothes…it’s winter…surely they can find a covered surface that would work and not catch Toby’s eye. You must just sigh with dispair. Our children that are growing way too large to be watched over and cradled but still need to be…mothering a large child gets challenging.
Gentler days ahead I hope.
fondly, Lori from Port Perry
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Oh, you poor girl. Such a tough week. I had a tough funeral last year when my dad had a massive stroke and died. He was never I’ll and was only 66. I have never had a friend my age die, it must really make you evaluate things. Dads death has certainly made us prioritise time together as an extended family. Hugs.Sharon. xx
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That was a difficult week!
Have the school learnt some lessons? Once is explainable, twice an oversight but if it happens again….. I hope they sort it out!
Funerals of old folks are actually quite consoling, but this is just the worst sort of funeral; young, mother, plenty of life AND having fought off cancer once. Please look after yourself, and give yourself a break when you can. It does, as you say, put life into a new perspective. Live everyday, and love plenty.
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Oh goodness, Julie, what a week, yes, surely, winter, UNDER clothes would be possible? So sad about your friend, your account made me cry, all those flowers and then more to take home, what a lovely gesture. So glad Toby is better, here’s to good health to him.
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Eek Julie, what a week! Having worked as an LSA for nearly 12 years, I can say that once is excusable, twice is not. The drug patch should be somewhere inaccessible on the other child, and if it occurs during PE changing time, then someone should be extra vigilant. Special schools have a higher ratio of staff/children so should be on the ball. What a worry for you – let’s hope that’s an end to it.
So sorry to hear about your friend but beautiful to hear how much she was loved.
Wishing you a better week this week,
C.x
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JULIE SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR FRIEND, HOPE TOBY IS BETTER AND DOES NOT DO IT AGAIN TAKE CARE JULIE BE THINKING OF YOU.
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Julie, sorry to hear about your terrible week. Again this shows what a strong family unit you have. Love and hugs.
Carissa.
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Hello Julie,
Not a lot to say that others haven’t already said except that I am glad you took time to reflect on your horrendous week and chose to make a negative experience into a positive one. Well Done x
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Sorry to hear that you have been having some rubbish times. I hope that this week is going better and will be easier for you. xx
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I read your post with a bit of horror thinking of your son chewing on two different drug patches. I worked in a school for over 30 years (in California) and the rules were very specific about any kind of drug dispensing. For example, kids could not take their own drugs but they had to be given by the school nurse or nurses aid, etc. Frankly, I never experienced drugs being administered through patches that were available to other students. Perhaps you could suggest to the school that children with drug patches wear long sleeved clothing to protect from having the patch removed accidentally or by another student?
My heart goes out to you as you raise your little guy.
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Sorry for the loss of your friend.
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thinking of you Julie and sending hugs xxxx
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Julie, i’m so sorry for the loss of your friend and the hard time you had managing the circumstances.
I had tears in my eyes reading your blog post. Toby’s bad hospital-experience was so touching, good you didn’t sent him to hospital again… You handled everthing so well!
Sending you all the best from austria,
Liesl
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Hugs 😦
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sending you positive thoughts and hugs!
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You seems to be coping OK. The ‘lesson’, if there must be a lesson, will surface in time. Take care of yourself and your son.
I admire you for following your gut feeling on the drug patch incident. I think you handled it really well!
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Julie, I am so terribly sorry about what you and Toby have been through. I am so glad Toby is ok now. I am deeply saddened by the loss of your friend to cancer. I too lost a dear dear friend this past July, someone who I created with and loved more than I can tell you. She had breast and bone cancer.
We have a son who is 40 years old, our son had leukemia at age 6 so we saw a lot of sadness in that clinic during chemo and during other procedures. This past spring they found a softball sized tumor in our son’s head that resulted from the radiation to the core of his brain that he had during his childhood leukemia. He made it thru, but as you said, it was a roller coaster ride. The ups and downs of life can be grueling at times. I can understand you contemplating life after all you have endured yourself. As rough as life can be, there is such beauty in it too, much to have gratitude for, and I know you are well aware of that. Losing a friend makes one think about life. I often think of you, and your life, reading your stories here and thinking you must be made of steel. But you know what, you are not made of steel, you are blessed with a huge loving compassionate heart. Toby and your whole family are so very fortunate to have you. I admire you so very much.
After a long long illness this winter I too felt like you, so much to do, to catch up on and my brain was spinning. But you know what, it can wait. I am here writing you instead of trying to do everything I felt I should. Because you are way more important than such trivial things as catching up. I hope you can find a piece of time to yourself, to just slow down and know some things need to wait. And you know what? That’s ok…..
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so sorry to hear of your friends passing, a few years ago i too had to say goodbye to young friend with a young family and its totally devastating and truly wakes you up to whats important in life, reading this post has been a gentle reminder of that and made me re-evaluate again
poor toby and not feeling well, lets hope for a better week and that school have put better things in place for the patch eating not to happen again
big hugs x
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Oh dear Julie what a time you have had. I hope school have now given you some assurances that this situation will not occur a third time. Maybe they should the patch elsewhere on the other childs body in order for Toby not to find it so accessible. So sorry to hear of your friends passing I don’t think I will ever understand how some can be taken so young.
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Oh , wow, Julie what can I say , other than send you a hug from Italy and hope the next days will be less stressful ?
Thank you as always for your lovely blog
barbara
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The drug patches are prob the ones that have to be placed in certain places, (usually behind the ear )and are worn for a medical need.its not a question of them being “allowed” in a classroom. I do agree that staff simply have to be between Toby and the other young person and I’d be getting schools response to the situation in writing and involving Toby’s care manager as its now happened twice. Not fair that it is down to Julie to sort this out though………(((hugs )) to her and Toby.
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Oh my goodness. I am so cross reading this. This may sound harsh but I have little use for the professionals that are meant to be the experts and to help us. In my experience they are worse than useless, passing the buck and only interested in ticking boxes (theirs of course.) I have had similar ridiculous situations with 111. Teachers should not be putting Toby in a situation where he is at risk and I am astounded that the nurse wasted so much valuable time putting the onus on you to sort out the situation. She should have made decisions and also had some of that vital information already. I am not surprised you do not trust hospitals. My experience with two elderly ladies, was appalling. We encountered unkindness, stupidity and ignorance. I honestly think an average person on the street would have shown more compassion. Where sometimes nursing staff where actively unkind, mostly they were just well, not kind. Apathy and lack of caring were par for the course. I will never advise going into hospital unless strictly necessary. In the case of the elderly you are rarely to come out again. I am so sorry you have had such a dreadful time. You did all the right things and yet you got nothing back. Luckily you are a strong person with great instincts. It shouldn’t be this way though and you should not have to face such difficulties alone.
I wish you well and hope you have a much calmer time for a while at least. It is totally unacceptable that Toby is able to chew the drug patches. The staff should be supervising him like hawks. It is negligent. Should it happen again I would take it further. It is dangerous.
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My life is just too easy, and I try so hard not to take that for granted. Sometimes my heart just breaks for you. You are one amazing woman.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you.
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That was a terrible week, I hope the next one will be good 🙂
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I am sorry to read that you had so much trouble .
I admire you all the time for coping with difficulties and doing beautiful things. Thank you for sharing, Anne
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While working with moms or dads with autistic children, I always worry about the ‘other child’ or children. Their needs often have to be suppressed for the urgency of the autistic child and they are conditioned NOT to ask for help when they have grown up with the demands, sometimes urgent, of the autistic child. Parents often lost track of their ‘other children’ just through circumstance. I hope this is not getting to be the case with your teenager. There is a difference between ‘letting them have their own space’ and ‘losing track of who they are and how they’re really doing’ . we are, after all always parents. children don’t ever NOT need their parents. They just need us in different ways. I hope your daughter is okay in her private life.
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