autism · crafts & knitting

woolly wonderfulness

Thanks again to everyone who has left me such kind messages over the last few weeks. I was hoping to write a fabulously glowing post about the wonders of melatonin but unfortunately the reality hasn't quite matched up to our expectation. Things are however slightly improved as the melatonin is having a positive effect at bedtime – Toby has been settling to sleep much more calmly and at a more reasonable time (between 9.30 – 10.30pm most nights). The effect is short lived though as he's still waking every night around 5 hours after going to sleep. Most nights he's been awake for around 2 hours before settling back to sleep but this morning he decided to start the day at 3.36am so he'll hopefully be a tired little bunny later (as opposed to a grumpy one!).

I've stayed in my jammies again today and have curled up with my needles and some rather scrumptious new wool…

Yarn

 

Pure merino yarn, kettle and hand-dyed in toast, violin, cinnabar, beige and rich chocolate (wouldn't it be great to have a job dreaming up yarn names? I don't think I'd have settled for beige though, I'd have preferred cookie dough or shortbread).

It's good that knitting is not especially taxing as I think it's about all I can manage after such an early start. It's lucky too that I've made so many bunnies over the years as if I do doze off shortly I could probably carry on knitting them in my sleep!

 

Yarn2

75 thoughts on “woolly wonderfulness

  1. Hi Julie,
    That yarn looks scrumptios. I agree, a job thinking up the names for these colours must be great fun.
    Pleased things are a little better at home, if only for small spells of time. x
    B

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  2. MMMMmmmm those yarns look wonderful! I agree – it is so relaxing to knit something without thinking about it. Especially little parts at a time make you feel accomplished!
    Olivia has always been a horrible sleeper (waking for several hours during the night) and we also tried the Melatonin with no luck. We didn’t want to try the new modern sleep meds so we have her on trazodone which has been perfect for her! Whatever they offer you – I do hope you find relief soon for I know we all need a good nights sleep.

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  3. Lovely wool. Sorry the melatonin didn’t work miracles – it always knocks me out if I use it when I have jet lag! Poor you, and poor Toby – you must both be exhausted! Hope things get better.

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  4. I’m sure these things are going to take time, but small improvements are still good. Hope you get a good nights sleep soon. That wool is absolutely scrummy, I can’t wait to see it knit up.

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  5. Poor you, I do hope things improve over the coming weeks, lack of sleep is miserable. but the yarn is just gorgeous, I’m loving the colours but I’m not an earth tones girl so they must be good! Perhaps the bunnies help you with the knitting when you fall alseep like the mice did in the Tailor of Gloucester by Beatrix Potter. Jane x

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  6. I am glad to hear that there has been some progress even though it didn’t give you everything you had hoped for. You do right to stay in your pyjamas and do gentle knitting stuff….I have been getting up in the dead of night too (depression) and have been yarning away the early hours! xxx

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  7. Perhaps the melatonin needs to have a cumulative effect?
    Scrummy yarn, lovely warm colours. Don’t do sleep-knitting – I have found myself doing that on occasion and it turns out I was using some imaginary pattern from inside my head and have had to unpick the nonsense I knitted!

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  8. I too, have a beloved family member with special needs and have been his sole caretaker for these last 21 years. If it wasn’t for knitting and crocheting dolls and toys, i think i would be crazy! Hang in there my dear. I am praying for you…love, mare

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  9. Arrrgh! Sleep! I can handle just about anything if I can get a good nights sleep! Oh I do hope you can get the rest that you need and soon. Bless you.
    That yarn does look delish. Can’t wait to see what you make with it.

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  10. Hooray for nice wool to cheer you up! Sleep deprivation is so awful. We used a herbal paediatric formula called Calm Me Down, which worked wonders. Hope you all sleep well tonight.

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  11. Hi. I love to read your blog. And i wonder if you sell the pattern for your lovely knittet animals. I would love to give one to my son who had cancer so he could cuddle and hug it when things get ruff for him. Or i would love to buy one that you have knittet. They are so lovely. I havent seen anything like it ever. They are the cutest ever.
    Hugs for you from Anne B. S. (Norway)

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  12. Gorgeous yarn which definitely looks good enough to eat! I think you could happily just sit and look at it if you are too tired to knit. I hope things start to improve for you all soon as sleep deprivation is so so hard. Zac feeds very regularly so I can understand how it feels to be awake when you feel the rest of the world is tucked up safely in their cosy little beds.
    Pen x

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  13. Fingers crossed that the melatonin will be cumulative and help Toby get into a routine. Sometimes it can take a while to get the correct dose of a new prescription. Thinking of you.

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  14. Stop complaining.
    Put things in perspective and look outside your life for a bit and things will not seem so bad.
    From what I can tell you have a beautiful home and things are quite lovely.
    i am very tired of priviledged people using a blog to complain about how HARD their life is.
    UGH

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  15. I find myself very offended by the previous blog comment, and I wonder why anyone would choose to express such unpleasant thoughts about something I am sure they know very little if anything about.
    I think about you often, Julie, especially when I look at my precious fox and Xmas bear, and I wonder how you managed to make
    something so beautiful that gives so much
    pleasure to others given your very difficult
    circumstances.

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  16. I know what you mean about the delicious colors. When one of mine was little I would try to discourage him from touching all the beautiful wools and silks and cottons in the embroidery shop I would go to until he looked at me sadly and said. “But Mummy, I just want to feel the colors.” So evocative.
    Sleep is such a gift. If I could give you and Toby a gift, it would be 8 hrs every night.
    You are an amazing mother.

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  17. I am amused at that comment “Fred” left. Sounds just like a grumpy old man whose brain is shrinking. What the goodness is such a person doing, reading a bunny blog, I wonder? And who, exactly, was he talking to? Privileged? Complaining? Pfffff. Silliness.
    I think shortbread would have been the perfect name for the color. I think, as long as you are getting the job of Yarn Color Namer, you ought to talk on apples, too – they have the loveliest names. The colors of the wool are really remarkable and rich. I feel like, if I could stick my hands into the skeins, they’d feel cool and smooth – like airy ice cream.
    Have you read Rachel today about the ladies’ room? I imagine your brain is somewhere along being in that condition right about now. If the melatonin hasn’t worked so far, I don’t think it will work. I don’t believe there is a cumulative effect – but every brain is different, and Toby’s certainly makes its own rules. Bless you, baby, hope you are sleeping right now. But you probably aren’t.

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  18. By the way, you are perfectly welcome to delete that grumpy comment up there. There are no rules of internet honor that say you can’t delete whosever comment you like. I’d do it in a heartbeat. And after you do – delete this one. So there, to all curmudgeons.

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  19. Hi Julie
    Have started making up some of your bunny egg cosies as gifts for Easter – they look fabulous. Have been thinking of you as I make them.
    Regarding the grumpy comment above – everyone is entitled to their opinion and it is great that the internet allows such freedom of expression (otherwise we would not have such lovely blogs as yours).
    However, in expressing my own opinion, I want to say I follow your blog with awe, both at your courage in dealing with the difficult parts of your life and at the obvious joy and talent you have in knitting.
    Far from containing the “moaning” of the “privileged”, this blog reminds me with each entry how fortunate we are. How lucky you are to have a beautiful son and the challenges he brings. How lucky he is to have a mother who cares so much. How lucky we all are to live in the comfort we do and to get such pleasure out of knitting, wool and the other delightful things you write about. How lucky we all are to be able to communicate in the supportive and caring environment of your blog page. In short, I view your blog as a celebration of life and its ups and downs.
    Fred is of course entitled to his/her opinion. However, I suggest that if he/she is so “tired” of our “complaining” that he/she should no longer read this blog.
    Feel free to delete this message also!
    With lots of love x

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  20. My point is that the author of this blog might find some peace in counting her blessings.
    Take some time to reflect on how fortunate you are.
    It is just a bit annoying to see someone so privileged complaining and feeling sorry for herself. Life can be hard. This is not new news.
    If you do not want public scrutiny of your life then WHY do you have this blog for the entire world to read.
    I will not stop reading as others have suggested. My response to that is if you do not want criticism keep your life private

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  21. Fred
    Things must be pretty bad for you if you find the writings of a mother who is being completely candid about the challenges in her life annoying. I’m truly sorry about that and hope that things get better.
    However, I also hope that your comments do not deter the author from writing blog.
    I have been reading it for a long time and find it, and the comments it generates from others, informative and uplifting. My own view is that the pleasure and joy the author gets from her life, her family, her home and hobbies is abundantly clear in what she writes.
    You are right that a blog, by its very nature, attracts public scrutiny. I’m glad the author makes her comments public. Having worked with autistic children, I hope that other mothers read this wonderfully honest blog and take something from it.
    Finally, life IS hard. I completely agree with you. We are all very privileged to be sitting here on a Saturday, using a computer and reading this blog. There are some terrible things going on in the world, and as you rightly say, we must all reflect on how lucky we are.
    Therefore, I hope that, if you continue to read this blog, you will take some time to reflect and see the positives in it. Even if you yourself find it annoying, please recognise that so many of us love reading it and take a lot from it.
    BACK TO KNITTING – Julie, I am looking forward to seeing the creations from your new wool. I am on egg cosy number three, so going strong!

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  22. Well, I was all set to comment on your yummy Malabrigo and then read through your comments.
    I’m so sorry Julie, that on top of everything else you have to deal with someone who cannot keep their mean comments to themselves.
    As far as I’m concerned each person’s blog is their own, on which they can express whatever they wish. I’ve had times when I’ve avoided blogging because I’m waiting for something nice to blog about but in the end it’s my blog and I’d rather it were a true reflection of my life. It’s so tempting to edit ourselves to please our audience and make everything look perfect. If readers don’t like it they needn’t read and can keep their comments to themselves.
    I don’t feel qualified or entitled to comment on anyone else’s life. If I were to disagree I simply would not comment.
    I think you are helping so many people by expressing the ups and downs of your life so beautifully.
    Now, back to the important stuff – I can’t wait to see what you knit with that gorgeous wool!
    (((hugs)))
    xxx

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  23. Dear Julie,
    lack of sleep is the worst thing!
    Especially when you worry about your child!
    I do hope the melatonin kicks in sometime soon, you so deserve some rest! And I love your new yarn, enjoy!!!
    A big hug from the netherlands

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  24. Hi Julie
    I’ve been away from the blogosphere for a few weeks or so and have missed your recent tribulations. Sorry to hear that you are having a rough time of things at the moment.
    It sounds as though you are at least getting some support from professionals and know that (almost) everyone who reads your lovely, uplifting blog will be keeping you and your family in their thoughts and sending you all their best wishes. I really do hope that things start to improve for Toby and all of Family Little Cotton Rabbits very soon.
    As for the yarn, it looks gorgeous and yes, ‘beige’ is a bit of a cop-out of a name as far as I’m concerned! Shortbread is a good alternative, or perhaps ‘brown sugar’?? I’d love to have a job thinking ip names for different nail polish and lipstick colours!
    Take care x

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  25. Dear Fred,
    My wish for you is that lack of sleep is the least of your problems.
    You obviously have a lot going on and if you ever find someone to talk to about it or blog about it, you may find there is a lot of support for you as well.
    None of us can walk in another’s shoes.

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  26. Hi, Julie…
    I hope that the melatonin has kicked in a little better and Toby (and you!) are getting a little more sleep. Sleep deprivation is one of the worse things in this world to cope with…making even the smallest challenges enormous.
    The yarns are downright scrumptious. I love the colors!
    Blessings,
    Dianne
    Oh, and Fred: please crawl back under your rock or behave yourself. You don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.

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  27. Julie, is melatonin OTC in the UK? It is, here, and since there was no formal presrciption we had to do a bit of guessing and tweaking to find out what the right dose was for Olive. If this helps, she takes 5mg per night and she weighs 4.2 stone (60 lbs). For us the effects were definitely cummulative, as I hope they are for Toby.

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  28. My dearest Dianne thanks for the kind words.
    I do know that many people in difficult situations only get 5 hours of sleep and then go to work for 8 hours a day. I believe they would not complain if they could stay at home in their pajamas all day.

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  29. My daughter didnt sleep for years due to allergies and now her baby boy is the same. Luckily she has me, as I retired to look after my husband who doesnt sleep I can have Michael and then catch up the next day. I really feel for you and hope that the melatonin builds up and starts to work. At least he is calmer at bedtime.
    Sending hugs and hopes x
    ps the wool looks delicious,Im off to knit now !

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  30. Gorgeous yarns…I bet they will make beautiful rabbits.
    Hope things settle out with Toby…I was telling my SIL (who has some kind of degree in autism) about your story and she recommended you look at food allergies as a possible reason for Toby’s disturbed sleep patterns. You’ve probably looked at all that already, but I thought I’d pass the message along anyway.

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  31. This is so neat!
    I was looking for a pattern to knit a simple flower and came across your site.
    Hope it’s ok to copy the flower pattern………
    Thanks
    Prayers for rest a peace!
    Eileen Elertson

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  32. What beautiful yarn! I agree with the naming of the ‘beige’ one though – Cookie Dough would be great!! I hope that things do start to ease for you all and that you can all enjoy a happier spring.

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  33. Fred obviously has nothing better to do, otherwise why would he be reading this blog and leaving comments like he did. BLOCK him – we don`t want to read what HE has to say.
    Delete ! Delete ! Delete!
    maria
    p.s. your are an inspiration to many mothers faced with challenges involving their children. Bravo !!!! Keep writing !!!

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  34. After further reading “Freds” comments, I find it interesting that he hides behind anonymous. It is of my opinion, that “Fred” is one of those people that has nothing better to do than to rile things up. A sick kind of perversion. Those people who think it is funny to post comments to get a reaction. I do not believe that “Fred” is real…..

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  35. Could it be that Fred is someone you know? And Fred is a female – only women can be so nasty!!! Maybe she is envious of something in your life (home ?, garden?, etc.)
    Such a silly person is Fred!

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  36. I have just read the comments from Fred and words fail me.
    I often check in to see how you are doing – I had a friend with a severely sick child and she always said with sleep you can cope with almost anything – true I think. I hope you are getting some help – it all appears to be very little and very slow. What you need is action.
    On the knitting front – I have knitted your little rabbit egg cosies, Easter eggs, Christmas stockings and little bears and they have given great pleasure to the family – becoming part of the family tradition at Christmas and Easter – so thank you.
    How could I forget – I have also knitted from your pattern a plate full of delicious cup cakes for my daughter and her daughters. They reside in pride of place on the table on a cake stand for all to enjoy – they lift the heart.
    So ignore Fred – keep writing and knitting when you can.
    Diane

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  37. Dear Julie,
    I have read more moans from Fred in the last 5 minutes than I have ever read from you in all the years I have been following your blog. Far from whinging and complaining, you constantly celebrate your “privilaged” life and look for the positive in all things. You are having a very hard time at the moment and I think you are entitled to seek solace, sympathy and hopefully some useful advice from us, your grateful readers. You share your life with us, good times and bad, isn’t that what friends are for?
    Poor, bitter and sooooo jealous, Fred, shame on you!

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  38. What I love is this: so many people read a blog without ever commenting at all. Perhaps they don’t think that what they have to say will be valuable. But what they don’t understand that a blog is only one side of what is meant to be a human exchange. we don’t write to build a mirror for ourselves – sometimes, yes, we journal our lives so that we can see them more clearly ourselves. But most of us are like little bats, and we write as a sort of echo-location – we send our lives out there to bounce off of other realities, hoping that what we have sent out will come back affirmed, supported, echoed by others who share our hopes, our hardships, our quirks, our loves.
    We take a chance when we do this, of course. But anyone who does is demonstrating a certain amount of trust in humanity – that people will handle them with mercy and compassion – and perhaps with approval and friendship.
    The comments are the feedback part of the loop. Lurkers don’t understand how much we need to hear from them – how much their strength helps us to be brave. Even a simple kind single word is a comfort sometimes when a person is feeling a little island like in the sea of the world.
    People, however, who chime in with ugliness and harsh expressions of disdain or reproach – they play another game altogether. Sometimes they are simply people with no social skills, or people who are resentful of something they have read – or self-righteous. Of course they can go bother someone else, but when they find an excuse to express their own resentment about life, their own spleen, they will be reluctant to give up the opportunity.
    And once answered, they feel suddenly famous and important – so answering an ugly response is a mistake, stroking an unhappy person for a satisfying (to them) stroke of negative power. The best course, in my view, is to delete the remark and proceed as if it had never been written. And continue to do that for every subsequent (probably escalated) ugliness. This is why they don’t show replays of sports fights – they don’t want to give any positive reinforcement for a negative behavior.
    Blogging is an act of social courage. And it’s fishing the waters of the world for kindred spirits. Certainly, when a good woman is attacked for no reason – the good result is that the lurkers awake and pitch in and offer real, active support. Which is a big HURRAH moment.
    Julie =- you are loved.

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  39. I love your blog! I am sorry someone made you sad – that was pointless. I see no complaining what so ever in this post – it’s about a mom and kids and life. And , great yarn and knitting to make the days feel better when you are tired or need comfort….as we all do at times. 🙂
    The yarn is beautiful and full of warmth.

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  40. Yo, FRED….Please Take It Elsewhere!!!!!!
    Frankly, the truth written in this lovely blog…has helped many a family struggling to help love ones going through a hard situation!!!! Yes, life is hard!…but hasn’t God asked each and everyone of us…to help one another in anyway we can!!! Sometimes it is as simple as writing about your struggles to let others know that they are not alone….
    YOUR COMMENT…HELPED NO ONE!

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  41. I’ve just been reading the thread on “Fred” – the best thing to do is to ignore his or her comments. They are probably just trying to wind you up. The comments are just not worth worrying about. Keep writing your lovely blog. I love reading about what you are making and doing. I wish I was as talented and creative.

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  42. I LOVE the comments of ‘H’ – couldn’t have said it better myself.
    Julie – please keep going, we love reading your blog and find it completely inspirational. xx

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  43. Julie I LOVE reading your blog and I love looking at your BEAUTIFUL creations…you’r blog is one of the first things I check out almost daily. Thankyou for sharing with us! I feel privileged!
    Jeanne

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  44. What a very bitter and twisted person Fred appears to be, I suppose we should pity him really. As regards yourself, Julie, I feel only great admiration for you and if putting down in words how you feel helps you to cope with your situation, then I for one have no problems with that. I drop in regularly for updates on your lovely family and it always brightens my day.
    Take care Joan

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  45. Dear Julie
    I am sure that more people sympathise with you than feel as Fred does. It is sad when people fail to show the compassion that they ought to but rest assured there are more positive folks out there than negative ones. Wishing you well and hoping that you get enough well deserve sleep
    Kind regards,
    Morag

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  46. Hi Julie
    Haven’t spoken to you in a while….well, where should I begin, you are brill, a total inspiration. I suffer dreadfully with my heath and I also get poor sleep and each day can be a struggle. Do it Julie, block him out!
    You are only focusing on the positive things in life which I think is just lovely. Hope toby is doing OK?
    Just keep knitting!
    JulieX

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  47. Dear Fred
    Maybe Julie has what you call a privileged life. Whatever. What she makes of it is beautiful and inspires me – and clearly many others. You, on the other hand, with your comment, are just a drag. If you’d like to inspire anyone to count their blessings why not try doing it with some empathy and grace? Otherwise what, exactly, are you trying to achieve?

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  48. after reading an above comment about weighted blankets, it just occurred to me that I had a problem with my son not sleeping either (he’s not autistic) but it was the winter months and his sheets were loosely tucked in, my mum said he was waking up and restless because he wasn’t snug and sure enough when i tucked the bedsheets around him much tighter he slept through the night instantly. I don’t know if this is of any help, or if Toby likes feeling restricted in bed it’s just an idea.
    Georgina

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  49. Gorgeous yarn Julie – you are brave to show it … I might have to pay you a visit!
    As for being advised to ‘look outside yourself’ – I can only assume that Fred is unaware of the publicity you have given to Madeleine McCann campaiign, the bunny you donated following the Australian bush fires, the link you promoted to ERIC (a charity that helps parents dealing with incontinent children) … and that’s to name just a few of the ‘looking outside’ of yourself things you do. And it’s so obvious you count your blessings from the many beautiful photos of nature and children that you post. I am always refreshed by your blog, never brought down by it – surely that says volumes for your lovely spirit?

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  50. Thank you for your beautiful blog. Personally, I appreciate the way your blog is open about the challenges you face as well as the beauty you discover.
    Fred sounds like he/she needs some help and love, because frustration and resentment that builds up to the point that you post rants on other peoples’ blogs can’t be a good thing. wherever you are, I hope you find some peace, and turn that righteous anger in a direction that can do some good, instead of hurting people. Blessings Fred.
    Thank you for the Hope you give so many on this blog. Don’t stop being honest.

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  51. I am totally in agreeance with Maria above, you are a real inspiration to me and Fred should be blocked. We all need to vent for our own mental health and thank heavens for some creativity as well.

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  52. Dear Julie, You are a very special lady and a wonderful parent. I do understand what it feels like to be sleep deprived for years…always listening night and day for a child on the move. It takes amazing patience and love. Bless you! Hugs

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  53. Hi there,I’m new to your blog so haven’t really read much of it, I just stumbled across this melatonin post so thought I would offer you some advice. My daughter has ASD and for years she slept very little, like your son melatonin didn’t work like we had hoped but we spoke to the consultant and they prescribed me a different type, she then took one regular melatonin and the other was a slow release one which as the name suggests works while they are sleeping . This kept her sleeping all night and finally I got to sleep for more than 4 hours a night! Ask to try it, hopefully it will work for you too,

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  54. I am just catching up on your blog. So sorry about Toby’s sleeplessness not getting better. I am taking TART CHERRY JUICE for arthritis and it is supposed to have natural Melatonin in it. Don’t know if you could get it in the UK or not. That grumpy ol’ person needs to be deleted. Fred from February 12, 2011….delete him! He says you are priviledged, probably because you are not lazy and work hard every day to make every aspect of your home and yard beautiful. Plus God chose you for your goodness and has blesssed you with a special angel whom he knew you would care for in your own special way. You are blessed with more friends than you could possibly count. God Bless you!

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  55. As all your readers have agreed, what Fred says on your blog tells us readers more about him than it could ever reflect on you!

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  56. I must say, I too would have found it hard to believe that someone could be so curmudgeonly as to express such thoughts on your charming blog. that is, until I had my own experience of this kind of behaviour recently. We have only lived in our new home for about a year, and have still not finished our renovations, so it has been a bit trying. Nevertheless, someone decided to poke their nose in our unfinished conservatory, and report us to the planners for an illegal structure, not knowing that we were still waiting for its missing doors (because they didn’t bother to ask first!), thereby causing us a) trouble, and b) to wonder which of our neighbours is so unwelcoming, without even knowing us yet. Anyway, Fred shows his ignorance in his spelling as well as his behaviour. I for one will continue to follow your delightful blog, and sympathise with your plight, which I may say I think you bear very lightly. Walk a mile in another man’s moccasins, as the Native Americans would say! 🙂

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  57. Wow, I just stumbled across your blog and I find it so creative, inspiring and beautiful (especially your amazing knitting)! I’m sorry to discover my rabbit Fred shares a name with such a negative individual (at least that’s all he shares)! Keep up the beautiful work!

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