Thank you so much for all of the wonderfully caring and supportive comments and emails, it really does lift my spirits to read them.
Although there has been no change in Toby's extreme behaviour I am feeling a little more hopeful that we are moving towards some changes to help both him and us cope. Tomorrow we are having a visit from social services who are coming to assess what of the available respite options might help our situation. On thursday Toby's teacher and speech therapist are coming for a home visit to observe and suggest ideas to help him manage his increased anxiety and, thanks to the school, we have been able to step into a cancelled appointment to see the paediatrician next tuesday.
So, it feels like things are moving in the right direction and that people are understanding the extreme nature of Toby's increased distress and it's impact on Amy and us. I am daring to hope that these meetings result in some practical help for our little family as it feels like life is on hold for us at the moment.
A friend sent me a quote yesterday which resonated for me and I share it now in the hope of helping anyone else out there enduring difficult times, because we all have them don't we?
"You don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice that you have" (source unknown)
If things are hard in your life at the moment, I wish you strength and the blossoming of a little hope for you too.
little cotton rabbits 
I am glad things are moving in the right direction for you all Julie and hopefully very soon you will get a bit of help and Toby will settle again. That is a very good quote and I shall try to remember it, its very true!
Love Rosy x
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Fantastic quote and one I’ll copy into my little book of quotes to remember.. I am a lurker and thought it time I said something. I am so pleased that you are going to get some much deserved help.. I have two autistic nephews and know how difficult it can become as they grow and get stronger. Take care.
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Such a poignant quote and one we can all relate to at times. Very best wishes for your little family. My fingers and toes are crossed for you x
B
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I’m so pleased everything is happening sooner rather than later – hope all goes well and that a satisfactory solution is found quickly. I hope your social worker proves to be as brilliant as ours – we couldn’t have asked for more support and practical assistance since we’ve had her. Fingers crossed for you all!
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I’m so glad that things are moving in the right direction and much sooner than first thought. Hopefully you’ll get the all help you need and that life improves for all of you. Green shoots indeed, just like your little hyacinth.
A great little quote to remember too, when life doesn’t go to plan!
Take care,
Vivienne x
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Good news! Things will hopefully move forward for you and your little family. A great quote and one I have already noted down. I send you my best wishes and hope that suitable help comes soon
regards
Zoe
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My fingers and toes are all crossed with the hope that Toby and your family are able to move forwards with the help and assistance available. It’s great that it’s moving quicker than originally anticipated too.
A very lovely quote; nearly as lovely as your hyacinth in a teacup!
Pen x
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So good to hear you are being supported so well. Thinking of you all. Your strength as a family will see you through. x
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I hope that you get some help soon. Do you not have a “tac” or team around the child in your area? I would have thought that they would have had a meeting of all the specialists working with Toby, or perhaps this is what has happened and now you are getting the visits and support that you need. I hope you find the help you want and need and Toby (and all of you) can have an easier and more peaceful life. Love the flowers – mine are still just little shoots. xx
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What a lovely quote and very true.
Glad things are moving along and hope things get sorted for you. Who knows, things may improve with Toby. You never know. Take care
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Love that quote! I’ve been learning a lot about my own strength too. In different ways. But, there are days when the strength seems to give out and gives way to tears. I’m hopeful for you that you’ll find the help and resources you need.
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Glad help is on the way…one of our first ladies, Eleanor Roosevelt, once said:
“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”
Have a cuppa for me and share your strength!
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What a wonderful quote. I’m glad things are moving in the right direction Julie. Stay strong!
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A touching and hopeful post….sending good wishes
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I hope you get the help you need and life gets easier!
xx
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I like that quote! I also like that when I am feeling like I have given my all and my strength alone doesn’t feel like it is enough, I can pray to God and He lifts and sustains. Know that I am praying very hard for you, Toby, and your family.
Hope. There is so much in that little word.
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I’m praying for your lovely family. There’s always a higher purpose in what we’re dealt with in life. I’ve always felt that the Lord sends special children to very special homes.
We too, have a special son and I call him my “keeper” because he will always live with us. I see the world so differently now because of him.
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So glad you are getting some hope and support. Life is certainly hard! How lovely that, despite all the dangers of the internet, there are caring blogging communities too x
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Your grace under pressure is a rare gift Julie. Hope there are some avenues they can suggest which help Toby and and all of you..
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Hope you get the help you want.Fingers crossed.Do you have a support group in your area?My last comment on your previous post seems to have gone astray as it didn’t appear.
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I’m praying for you and your sweet family. I am sure help is on the way…
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Julie, I’m glad you’re getting the help you need. It’s hard to be the mother of a special needs child, especially when you aren’t sure what to do or how to do it. My problem is a bit the opposite; my daughter is slowly disappearing. Some days I would give anything for an outburst of some kind. Opposite sides of the spectrum, but the heartbreak is the same. And I agree, knitting is wonderful therapy!
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a perfect quote – so glad things seem to be going in the right direction and moving a bit faster.
x
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I’m so glad things are moving in the right direction for you all. I find it so hard trying to deal with J’s aggresive behaviour especially now he is so strong, he is able to control his temper more than he used to, but its such an upsetting situation for everyone involved. Thinking of you, Alex xx
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Maybe you never know how strong you can be until you look back at where you’ve been. I am trying to find a quiet moment to write. We never forget you. If prayers can help (and I believe totally that they can) you are well supported in that Hall.
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I’m so glad things are looking up and moving forward and you’re receiving such good support. Thinking of you and keeping fingers and toes crossed. And thank you so much for the quote. It resonates for me right now, too.
K x
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I hope the people you meet will have some helpful ideas and solutions. Sending hugs to help with the strength.
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I’m so pleased to hear that things seem to be moving a little faster than you first thought. Hope everything goes well at the meetings.
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What a lovely quote! I hope that things are changing for you and your family. I think that you do all that’s possible to make things better!
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It’s great to hear that things are starting to get moving for you all – I hope real help is soon available. Love the quote. Lucy xx
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So nice to hear that you are finding strength and ways to cope all round….I love that bulb and hope you post pictures of it when its out. Unfortunately I live in the tropics so those beautiful flowers are not around for us. It does seem to get harder as the children get older doesn’t it…my youngest is being assessed this year as he seems to be having more trouble managing his emotions as he gets older. School is becoming a challenge so hopefully I can find some information to help me help him learn to cope.
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Julie – I hope that you and your family receive the help that you both need and deserve. That’s a great quote and absolutely true. We all have inner strength deep within us – I hope you all find yours to help you through these hard times. hope things start to change for the better soon xx
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Just wanted to send you my love and good wishes Julie. This mothering job is hard work isn’t it! I hope that some rest and resolution is found quickly for you and all your family.
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Hang in there Julie — it Will get better. Sending big squishy knitted hugs!
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Hi Julie,
You are in my thoughts & take care.
Love from Carole in Rossendale xxxx
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So glad things are sounding more hopeful Julie. Thinking of you and willing all things good your way.
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Lovely quote and it is true for me at the moment. Little Cotton Rabbits is on the website page of Simply Knitting this month, well done x
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What a great quote. Wishing you all the very best. Love the bulb and all it is expressing, x
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Thank you for the quote – that very much sums up my last three years! Hope that you get the help you need soon.
Thinking of you.
Alison
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Good Luck on Tuesday, my girlfriends autistic son was very difficult at Tobys age, he is now 15 and things have settled down, so hang in there,
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I was distressed to return from two weeks in hospital to learn that you are having such a hard time. I wish you and your family well. I really wanted to tell you that I made two of the egg cozies from your pattern while I was in hospital and they are wonderful. All of the respiratory ward doctors,nurses and patients came by to see them and they gave a a lot of sick people a smile. They sat on my table and got so much attention. I received a lot of praise but I always said that I was only following your brilliant pattern! Carole
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Julie, glad to hear practical help may be in the offing. Just make sure you take it all and don’t feel bad about it. This has been a bad winter to be housebound and frayed. Toby always seems to be such an outdoor boy…
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Please let me know if you are getting my messages.
I am very interested in your journey but i dont think my posts have reached you.
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The quote is so true. I have a boy – now 16 years old – with Asperger syndrome – an autism spectrum disorder. It took nearly 3 years to fix this syndrome, to find the best way to help him, to assist him. I only can say: Stay strong, never give up.
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I loved the photo of the bulb growing to give us the picture of HOPE…I have a special needs daughter and altho she does not have autism she has a genetic disorder of some sort that no one knows anything about and so we are left to HOPE as well since we have no idea what to expect…HOPE is a good thing… it is a positive thing…I am hoping for peace for you in your circumstance…and will continue to check in to see how you and Toby are coping!
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thank you.. things are hard in my life at the minute too.
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My heart goes out to you. You are doing a wonderful job, and you don’t realise that you are strong and have been since the day Toby was born, just think of it as every day you grow stronger and stronger as the road gets a little more bumpy. Good luck and I hope that all Toby’s Therapists pull together and make life a little easier for you all Toby included.
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You are amazing in all you do. Keep positive, Emma
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I just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you and your family and hoping that today’s meeting is full of hope, help, and encouragement. Love and hugs
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Julie – Have been thinking about all of you to-day. I do hope that this last session of the ‘first step’ has achieved the help you were seeking. No doubt you all have lots to digest after this last few days. Hope some support will be in place soon. Take care, Jenny
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I have been thinking of not only you, Julie, but your family, too…. I hope all goes well for Toby… such a poignant message in the quote.. and I hope you are staying strong……… but sometimes it is okay to be weak, too.. Hugs!
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That is a wonderful quote and really resonates with me too! I’m so glad to hear you’re getting some help and support and hope things start to improve for you all very soon.
xxx
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From the U.S.
Julie,
I’m praying for you and your children. You are an inspiration to so many. God bless you and keep you strong.
Last year,(I think it was) I purchased the hedgehog pattern from you, and everyone loved the hedgehog I made. My son said it looked so professional–this was a great compliment to me, but I must give you the credit for a wonderful pattern, easy to follow, and so creative Your imagination and talent are remarkable. Thank you for brightening up the lives of others through your work!
Keeping you close at heart-
Jo
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You are amazing…..you are inspiring…love and healing to you and Toby from the far east. XX
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