I am not yet winning the battle of the clothes.
I get them on him but within 2 minutes he has flung them all to the four corners of the garden – and he’s becoming quite inventive about places to stuff them so I won’t find them again! It probably doesn’t help that we’re having some lovely warm weather – not the best time for me to be insisting on clothes!
Still, on a positive note at least Toby is now starting his bouncing sessions with some clothes on and my quest to get him to keep them on will continue, although I will definitely focus my efforts on stripping off in inappropriate places and save the garden battle for when the weather turns colder again.
Thanks so much for all of the tips and advice left on the previous post about his stripping off. There were some very useful points raised about keeping his clothing soft and light and having a set of clothes that he associates with wearing in the garden – a bit like a bouncing uniform. All of which are really going to help in my quest. I’m hopeful we’ll get there – one day! Potty training isn’t fairing any better either but we always knew it was going to be a long a slow process for our boy.
His achievements are small and slow but one day I hope to write excitedly here about his first wee on our toilet and maybe even one day in the future I’ll be joyfully telling you about his first ever word.
One day.
Maybe?
Hope is a wonderful thing.
little cotton rabbits 
I think you are right. There are some battles that it is important you win and others that can wait for another day. I love the idea of a bouncing uniform! Wish I had one. – Jen
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As a teenager I worked with a little boy who was autistic, and also non-verbal. My assignment was to have him learn to say “mummy”, and I had family photos we(I) named hoping he’d repeat. After a long while he did it! I was so proud! And so was he. His mum was thrilled to hear him call her name at last, although a bit more work was needed to connect the word with her, and not just her photo. The next week his mum asked me to teach him “daddy”, as he was “mummying” her to pieces! :0) I worked as an adult with another little fellow for three years, and understand your struggles somewhat. It will be an exciting day when Toby speaks his first word! I’ll celebrate along with you.
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Julie, you sound a bit blue. Do you know what would probably help? Naked bouncing on that trampoline of yours.
Sometimes I think these little people of ours are wiser than we think.
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I hear ya about the stripping off the clothes…our autistic 7 yr old girl does that (even at school)…although, she doesn’t have a texture problem, just likes to be naked. At home we put her in a homemade jumpersuit over her clothes that zips in the back so she can’t remove. She also has to wear diapers as she is low functioning and doesn’t understand the concept of toileting (one day I pray).
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You sound like such a good and loving Mother. Happy Mother’s day, one day late. 🙂
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My high-functioning autistic daughter also went through a nude phase. It was followed by a phase in which she would only wear exactly the same article of clothing every single day. That one lasted for more than a year. I wound up buying multiples of the same item.
Now that she’s nine, she gets her jollies by streaking through the house at fill tilt just after her bath before running back into her room. She slams the door, and I have to search the house for the mad streaker while she’s putting on her clothes. Once she’s dressed, I open her door and search her room. She says the streaker has run into her closet. Turning it into a game has helped. When she was less sophisticated, I don’t know that it would have worked. Once puberty hits, that’s not going to fly so much anymore, but for now it’s fine.
Long story, but the point is, it’ll pass.
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Keep the faith, Julie! You’re a wonderful mum and he’s a terrific kid. You’re both so lucky to have each other.
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Oh dear Julie you certaintly have your hands full.
We are all longing for the day when your post will read “Toby said his first word”.
What a day that will be.
Sending hugs and prayers your way….I think you need them today.
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Here in Aus it is Autism Awarness Week and we are all spreading the word. Your work with Toby is wonderful and I am certain that you will indeed be writing posts about the “old days” when these goals were being made. Stay strong sister, it’s all worth it.
I have writen a post on ASD this week too and linked to a very interesting progam that ran here on Sunday morning. If you have time the second half is really interesting about were early intervention is heading in this part of the world.
Thinking of you. 😀
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Oh my spelling was dreadful in that last comment… sorry!!
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I think you are right about only picking the battles that are really important but I hope it will all get easier for you soon. I’m sure that first word will pop out, probably just when you least expect it.
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Julie I am always so amazed and touched by your patience and love and understanding – so keep the faith you never know what might be possible. Lucy x
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Don’t worry about the clothes….I think all kids go through that….I don’t think anyone would have recognized my daughter with clothes on and my granddaughter loves / loves shoes and we know not why…they are never ON. Potty training for boys always takes much longer…..now the word…work on that one a thousands times a day..one word….and make sure when you pick / say the word it makes a smile on your face. His name or his favorite color perhaps. Or just he word “happy” with a big hug and tell him he makes you happy. Great site by the way….great toys.
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this too will pass and then it will be on to other challenges!
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I don’t think it’s a losing battle at all. It is undeniably hard most of the time. But I can tell you are doing a great job with Toby and he will surprise you one of these days.
We still have yet to start with J.’s potty training and I know that it will be a long road once we do.
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You keep hoping! Hope is a wonderful thing and cheer every single step of progress. I love Toby’s outfit today.
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Is Toby able to sign?It seems to be the new thing and is being taught in nurseries and schools.It takes away some of the frustration and aids earlier communication than speech.just an idea.
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We are all out here hoping with you. Hang in there. You are not alone 🙂
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Hi
I love Toby’s outfit. I hope he enjoyed his bouncing session and had fun.
Best wishes
Sarah
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Julie –
I am totally moved by your latest posting. You are so brave and I wish you all well. With your patience Toby will be doing all the things you wish him to in time. In the meantime, the naked bouncing might be fun!!!
Lisa
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Oh Julie, hope is key!! You hang onto that optimistic attitude you are blessed to have 🙂 I think you are a Mom in a million, and one to be marveled at IMO!
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Tongue in the cheek: there are some nudists’ communities in Germany, so when he’s a bit older you can bring him there and explain that in the summer cottage people are naked, elsewhere not.
Seriously: Hope gives also strength, and then grows the hope. I believe that your wishes come true sooner than you expect!
Oh, and in the pictures I can see that he has LEARNED bouncing very well!
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Julie – you do so well – Hugs to you and your family.
The jumping clothes is a fantastic idea and I with you – chose your battles!
Hugs to you and looking forward to the day you can shout out that he has spoken to you.
Kylie
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It looks like Toby has a pretty nice “jumping clothes” outfit in the pictures! Best of luck, and I do hope he adjusts to keeping his clothes on.
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Hi Julie,
Toby already has so much because of your faith in him and your hope. I’ve also read that children who are autistic prefer wearing airy natural fibres for clothing so perhaps this may help if you haven’t tried it already. He looks like he’s having so much fun bouncing around though and truth be told it is getting rather hot. Perhaps as you said that little battle is best saved until the cooler months!
Dy
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Julie, jou’re a very good and loving mother, and i think hope is something great. I swear you a very good mother day. Sure, you’re not alone, we ‘re there with you and Toby. Kisses
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A bouncing uniform sounds like great fun! Good luck with the ongoing effort …
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Baby steps all the way. The tortoise knew a thing or to about getting there. Believe in it and it will happen.
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slowly slowly, catchy monkey – don’t give up you are doing such a great job – it will happen!
Sx
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if his outfit was orange and yellow it could be a “tigger”y stripy bouncing suit 🙂
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I’m wondering whether getting him accustomed to an item or two at a time gradually and subtly might be a way to go?
For example – when you want to exchange a child’s moth-eaten comfort blanket – to get it more acceptable, you place it in the child’s bed so that over time it will have a familiarness about it and that gentle comforting ‘home’ scent of their special blankie.
Could you not begin to place one (safe) item in the bed so that it gets accidentally stumbled upon and then begins to feel a little less alien and a little more soft and comforting? Worth an experiment perhaps? (it may be thrown out a few times first of course… )
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Yes, one day. If love and patience and determination count for anything, definitely one day.
Goodness, Julia, everytime I read about your love and dedication to Toby, I am so humbled.
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Ah, and I think I am challenged with two teenage boys….
Warmest wishes to you and Toby. He looks like he is having a blast – reminds me of Tigger. (and Pooh), because Tiggers love to bounce.
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Hi Julie
Your Toby sounds very tactile hence the clothes striping? I thought the earlier posters ides of a jumpsuit (no pun intended ) with a zip up the back is a good idea. Does school have any insights for ideas to curb the stripping. I did know some autistic kids who could not abide tags, new clothes etc but being AS could tell you what the problem was.
Do persist with the toilet training, Lucette took 5 years to train and to be honest that is her only party trick. If she had not trained I was getting to the stage of murdering her as I had another child by then and was fed up. I certainly understand where you are coming form and why you can feel so down some days. I think unless you have a low functioning autistic kid yourself , you really don’t understand the issues, challenges and constant problems.
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Hi Julie, just discovered your site via Simply Knitting and have to say, WOW!
Not only do you verbalise what every parent of an autistic kid feels but you have a fantastic creative outlet and blog as well! What have I been wasting my time on?
I have a five year old high functioning autistic son who seems to understand the concept of toilet training but has yet to apply the practical. Huh, who am I kidding, he still won’t get out of the nappies!
I am part of a parent’s group here in Australia (Wagga Wagga actually) and we often discuss the new tricks our kids are up to. Nice to know it is common all over the world.
Hope is a four letter word, the good kind.
Keep up the good work sister 😉
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