general stuff

For Gangan

Julie (little Cotton Rabbits)

I was going to write about our adventures over the school half-term break but my Gangan died yesterday afternoon and so those will have to wait a while.

Gangan was my Mum's mum. For the last 12 or so years she has suffered from Altzheimers and since my Gampy's sudden death in 1999 she's been in a nursing home. When my daughter was born at the end of 1999 I took her to the nursing home to see Gangan but it's been years since we last visited her. I think it's because I found it hard that there was no recognition on her face when she looked at me. I so wanted Gangan to know that the baby she was cradling was her great granddaughter, but it was too late and she was not sure who we were.

Gangan

Gangan was a wonderful Gran and she always made me feel like a princess. She spolit me and my brother rotten when we were growing up – she was always ready with little treats and our favourite things to eat or play with. She knitted and sewed many
of her own clothes including outfits for ballroom dancing and, along with my mum, she helped me learn to knit. When you concentrate all your attention on something it sometimes becomes hard to bring it into focus, so it's not easy right now to recall many of the memories that I know are there. But I do remember flashes:

the sound of her funny little fiat car that we knicknamed noisy

snuggling into bed between both of my grandparents when they came on holiday with us and sharing their early morning ginger biscuits

drinking PLJ (pure lemon juice drink) in Gangan's kitchen with it's formica table and pantry full of goodies

eating her delicious special concoction of desicated coconut mixed with drinking chocolate and the cream from the top of the milk

her devotion to our dog Brindle

back tickles

the way she treasured all of the little things my brother and I made (even after we could see how bad they were!)

swinging on the garden swing chair in my grandparents garden

homegrown loganberries straight from the bush

the painted spanish wine bottle in her lounge which was really a musical box

the wonderful sets of clothes that she hand sewed for my favourite doll Angela (the doll is long lost but the clothes are very much treasured)

Dollyclothes

I wanted to share some of these special memories of my special Gran, my Gangan. Thanks for reading.

57 thoughts on “For Gangan”

  2. Oh I’m sorry to hear that but what lovely recollections you have. I’m sure you will remember more and more as the days pass.

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  5. Grandma’s are such special people. Reading about your grandma and the special memories that you have remind me of my grandma. My grandma always had loganberries growing too.
    My gorgeous grandma died 4 years ago, and like your Gangan was senile at the end. But now, I have forgotten what she was like at the end and all I remember are the wonderful memories I had with her.
    May your special memories of your Gangan keep her close.

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  8. Your post echoed my memories of my Nana so much.
    I also have photos of my baby with my Nana who didn’t know who we were as she suffered from the same condition & who loved me so much that I have so many wonderful memories of our time together when I was a child. I try to remember the good times rather than her last years. She died in August ’99 & I still think of her often.
    Sending hugs…

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  9. Hi Julie – I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your Gangan and the fact that you effectively lost the essence of her all those years ago. My gorgeous granny – my mum’s mum – died 2½ years ago at the age of 99½ – after the grandchildren were born her name changed from granny to grangran – a bit like yours! I still miss her but am so very grateful to have had her in my life for so long – she came to live with us when I was 7 and became my best friend. Thinking of you and your family. Lucy

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  12. Julie,
    How richly blessed you were to have such a wonderful grandmother! I am now a grandmother and hope I can somehow leave my grandchildren with as many rich memories as yours did for you. Thank you for the lesson in that. I’m now off to find my husband and insist we put up a swing in the back yard. May God bless you in your loss and grant your grandmother eternal rest in peace.
    Mary

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  13. Sorry to hear about your loss. Your Gangan sounded a lovely lady and your treasured memories are a wonderful tribute to her. The workmanship and detail of Angela’s clothes is fantastisc – I can see where you got your skill and eye for detail from. My sincere condolences to you and your family.

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  14. So sorry to hear of your loss. Thank you for sharing your fond memories with us, she sounds like a wonderful lady. Love to you and your family x

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  15. Julie, I’m so so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. She sounds like she was a wonderful and lovely lady. Thank you for sharing your memories.

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  17. The tears are flowing down my face. I lost 2 grandparents to Alzheimer’s, neither of whom I saw in the last stages of this disease. I remember them both large as life with pretty much all of their faculties in place. To see someone who you have known and loved all your life not recognise you must be heart breaking. To have something tangible made by your gran will, I hope, ease the pain a little. It worked for me, and I still have things made by my own Grandma that are in use on a daily basis. Sympathies, thoughts and prayers are sent to you. xx

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  20. I’m sorry for your loss. Such beautiful work she did on the doll’s clothes. I never knew any of my grandparents and can only imagine how great it would have been to have someone like that in my life. I’m glad you have such good memories of her.

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  26. Thank you for sharing your wonderful memories of obviously a very loving grandmother, and a talented one too. I am sure those doll’s clothes will be very much loved and treasured as are the memories of her too. Lots of hugs to your family.

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  31. {{hugs}} I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. What great memories you shared with us. I’ll be thinking of you and your family at this sad time.

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  33. Hi Julie.
    I am so sorry to hear about your sad loss. We experienced the same thing last year when my Grandma passed away after having Alzheimer’s for 8 years, and Grandad followed soon after. They were only 76 and 77, which was too young. I didn’t see Grandma during the last stages of her illness, but it deeply upset my mum. 6 months on, I know that everyone feels she’s gone to a better place, and does not have to suffer the indiginity of this terrible disease no more.
    My thoughts are with you and your mum.

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  35. Oh wow.. what a sweet tribute to a lady that sounds like she had a truly blessed life, and a loving family to appreciate her.

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  36. I know how special a grandmother can be. My prayers and thoughts are with this during this very sad time. Reading your post brought back wonderful memories of both my grandmothers and great grandmother. Much love.

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  37. My condolences to you Julie. I’m sure Gangan is looking down at your lovely family from the Heavens above with a smile on her face.
    Perhaps you could record your memories of her one by one as they come to you? And it’s wonderful that you have such lovely memories of you and your Gangan. Take care and a big hug 🙂

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  39. Bless you & your Gangan. I still miss my Nan sometimes after 7 years… here’s a mental hankie for those tears you will cry.

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  42. Julie,
    I’m so sorry for your loss. My deep condolences to you and yours (that sounds far too formal, doesn’t it, for such a living, breathing grief?) I’m glad that you have your memories…so unique to you and your special relationship to Gangan.
    I think that the best friends can do at these times (apart from words of comfort) is, usually, to share our own stories of loss. Even though, no one will EVER be your precious, unique, irreplaceable Grandma, it is natural for us to want to tell our own stories of loss, in hopes that it will give a sense of comfort and comraderie to the newly grieved. Plus, we are reminded how much we truly miss our own loved ones gone…
    My favorite Grandma died when she was only in her sixties (lung cancer from smoking). She was my favorite Grandparent of all, in fact. I wish I had had many more years with her and that she could have met my husband. She would have LOVED our wedding.
    So many times, she was like a best friend…even when I was a teenager…one that could endear me to her as well as enrage me! She died when I was about twenty…but I am thankful for every drop of time I did spend with her..which was considerable.
    My family moved to Oregon when I was nearly 16 years old, a place where my Grandma lived during all of my “remembering-age days.” I am so thankful that we got to know each other so much more intimately, because of this. I am thankful that I chose to spend as much of my free time with her as I did. I am thankful that, during these years, I was mature enough to converse with her only a fairly mature level. I spent a good deal of time hanging out around her…she was always busy with something, not one to sit around. I would call her up and ask if I could spend the night over at her house. I know we were very special to each other. She was such a capable woman…so good at everything… and a real “kick in the pants,” to those who knew her very well. She is simply irreplaceable.
    To this day, I have her birthday marked on my calendar. My Dad, her son, thinks of her all the time. On occasion, I will even dream of her…15 years after her death.
    Yet, I think to myself, “I, easily, might not have been blessed with any of my time with her.” I recall that none of my years with this special person were ever guaranteed (or owed) to me, from the start…nor are the days of my own life. I’ll take every minute that I did get.
    Love,
    Ellen

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  43. Julie I just wanted to send my condolences to you and your family on the loss of your Gangan.
    All of your post bought back some cherished memories of my own grandparents especially my grandad with whom I was very close to and still miss despite it being 25 years since he passed away.
    The happy times are what I remember most and I am sure that yours will help you through these sad days. xxxxx

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  44. So sorry to hear about your loss. I’m totally choked here – because I so often miss my darling Grandma who died when I was 18, in fact, the night before my maths baccalaureate exam, which, needless to say, I failed miserably. Your post was just so touching, it brought the fierce love I had for her (and my Grandpa) rushing back.

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  47. She sounds like a wonderful grandmother! So sorry for what you are going through right now. What a beautiful way to honor her memory in this blog!

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  49. Julie we all know that special love for a grandparent, they never fail to surrond us in love and kindness, something you will never forget.
    Thinking of you and sending lots of love across the ocean to your door.

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  50. I was checking your flickr page because I found one of your beautiful bunnys and I did want to know more about them.I was looking in your profile if you have some etsy page or something and here I am.I not expected it but it was different.
    Youre post captured my attention and makes me cry, It’s hard to explain, because I do not know you, but youre words are very closer. (I dont know how to say it, I speak spanish)
    My best grandma died when I was 7, and I have very good (but few) memories about her.She was very friendly person, closer, lovely, I dont know how to say it, she cares a lot all the people that she loves. My other grandma still alive, but it seems she dont, because she have never been closer to us. (Its another story, that she never have loved someone or something).
    Well, I want to say you that many people pass for this life and nobody knows that they lived here or what they did. But there are some special people that leaves marks in our lifes or in many people’s lifes, and still living in their lives.
    I think that these kind of memories are the really inmortality. I would be very happy if I would know that I will be remembered that way. It means that my life was important to someone and it worths to have lived. (I dont know if i write well, sorry)
    To leave good marks (memories)in other people are the most beautiful thing. To make other people happy too. And your comment shows that your grandma was a very beautiful person, that she take care of others, for you, for makes you happy, and its all that really matters. She makes you feel that you are who (what) she loves more in the world, the most special person, and maybe she makes feel the same thing to other people… makes feel other person that they are the one.
    I have a special person that are like youre grandma.But its grandfather. And I hope I could be like he is.(he dont sew, but other things you wrote he do)
    Im 30, but Im not married, I dont have childrens, but I have knephews (9 years old), that are my life, my eyes, all. I spend my time with them. (Are twins 🙂 )
    And I hope to be as good as youre grandma with them. we play, we cook, we knitting, yes, they know knitting and crochet (I put a picture in my flickr)and reading.
    I make them sweaters, toys, I keep their’s drawings and paitings 🙂 Thats other reason why I feel so emotioned when I was reading your post, because It seems like Im doing what I did like to received… and it means that children do not forget the simple things… and maybe your childrens remember you like you are remembering your grandma… and the story goes on… and still alive with you.

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  51. Oh Julie, my heart aches for you. It is so terribly sad to watch a loved one slip into dementia that I can understand why you felt unable to make a connection with your beloved grandma in recent years. You have a wealth of special memories from happier times and I hope that they bring some comfort to you.
    Take care. Hugs…
    Marie x

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  52. we are … because of the gifts these wonderful people give to us.. a wonderful heritage of love and acceptance lets hope we all can do this for our loved ones.. a beautiful story to share thanks it makes us sit for a minute and remember our lost loves… margie

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  54. So sorry for your loss, which I suppose really started so long ago. What warm memories to have of your Gangan, treasures for the future.x

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  55. Thanks for sharing. Your Gangan is well, now, in a wonderful world. Don’t worry and remember her in lovely memories. I send you lot of kind thoughts.
    Fabienne

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  56. I love the list of things you remember about your grandmother. It made me think of all the things I remember about my grandmother in Texas–the “roly poleys” she made for us from leftover pie crust with cinnamon and sugar, the swing on her front porch where she sat with her arm around me, the playhouse in her backyard that was full of dolls and child-sized furniture and dishes–even though she died 45 years ago. Thank you for sharing your memories and reminding your readers of our own.

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  57. I’ve just arrived here today, and so I know I’m a bit late but I just wanted to say I’m so sorry to hear about your Gangan. Sending you loving thoughts.

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