autism · general stuff

routines

Monday morning. It’s nicely quiet and calm here and I’ve just finished my favourite breakfast of poached egg (thankyou Mrs chickens) on hot buttered toast with a pot of tea – a good start to any day. I had planned to be back here on the blog sooner but it has taken a little longer than expected to get Toby settled back at school and Amy moved into her new uni digs. At last though we are back into familiar routines – to some that might sound boringly monotonous but here routines are a welcomed necessity and help our little family function.

Toby is now in the sixth form at school and so doesn’t wear uniform. As someone who takes great comfort in the visual clues that different outfits bring to his life, he has had a little difficulty adjusting but we’ve settled on familiar school shoes and black jogging bottoms paired with a colourful T shirt (previously strictly weekend wear) and a new grey hoodie, and he’s now adapting. Amy has had some challenges with settling into her new digs after a summer of living at hotel mum & dad but is now (I think and hope) happy to be back at uni and ready for year 2.

Now that I have time to myself again I’ve been tidying the house and sorting out paperwork relating to Toby’s transition from child to adult social services – lots of reading and research to do and a lot of planning too. Once I’m on top of the paperwork and have caught up with emails I’ll be joyfully turning my full day-time attention back to knitting and pattern writing – I can’t wait! I have so many ideas bouncing around my head and hastily scribbled in notebooks over the last 3 months and I’m looking forward to sharing them with you. A sneak peek of one of the free patterns I’m planning on sharing is above.

I’ll be back soon with more knitting news, ’til then thanks for dropping in to visit with me,

J x

 

autism · crafts & knitting

A little haven of peace and calm

In the depths of winter, when dusk arrives just after 3pm, my favourite place to sit and knit is snuggled up by the fire. But once the days start to lengthen and warm I’m itching to get outside and sit in the shade of the tree, with the touch of a warm breeze on my skin and the spring song of small birds in the tree above. The first outdoor knitting session of the season is always to be savoured and I am enjoying mine today.

It’s been a bit of a tough week here. As you may know if you’ve visited me here before, my son Toby is severely autistic, non-verbal and has extreme behavioural and learning difficulties. Any change to established routines can cause him (and therefore us) a great deal of distress and due to factors outside of my control this has been a week where routines have been firmly out of the window. Today he has gone for a respite short break and so I am sitting here quietly re-charging my batteries with some gentle sock knitting and lots of tea in my beautiful new mug bought from the very talented Makiko Hastings. Such small things bring great pleasure here and by the time he comes home later today I will be feeling calm and refreshed and ready for the challenges of the school half term break next week.

I am deeply grateful that Toby currently has somewhere to go for occasional short break respite that is safe and caring. Though sadly only until he turns 18 in October, as after that he will be under adult services, and the thought of what may be available to him then is quite frankly terrifying. Here in the UK this week the current affairs programme Panorama has exposed abuse and violence at yet another facility ‘caring’ for autistic people. If you have a moment and feel that vulnerable individuals should be safeguarded from such torturous abuse, please could you sign the National Autistic Society change.org petition ?

Thinking about what the future holds for Toby and other young adults like him is frightening, and we will do absolutely everything in our power to keep caring for him here at home for as long as we are physically able to. But for today I am choosing not to think about that. Today, I am here in this moment with my tea and knitting and a little cheescakey treat ๐Ÿ™‚ย  I hope your day is full of peace and pleasure and that those you love are safe and happy x

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Sock pattern: Wildflowers and honeycomb sock by This Handmade Life, details of the yarn and needles I’m using are here.

autism · crafts & knitting · general stuff

December P & P


Do you find that the start of December is all about planning and preparation? It certainly feels that way here and although we don’t have a huge Christmas celebration, we do like a quiet, cosy family day with good food, a roaring fire, some fun and a glass or two of something to warm and cheer. So, I have lots of lists floating about at the moment, lists for food and drink shopping; last minute presents to buy and wrap; tasks that need doing in advance so I can relax on the day,ย  and if I don’t write them down then no doubt I’ll be remembering all the things that I’ve forgotten some time between midnight and dawn on Christmas morning.

There has been some sock knitting going on in between the list scribbling (sock pattern and yarn details here). Apart from the top border it’s been easy, un-demanding knitting that I can do in the quiet of an evening without using too much brain power and so perfectly suited to this time of year. I had hoped to have my badger pattern ready for release before Christmas but it’s clear to me now that’s not going to happen – there’s still too much to do on it and no longer enough free time in which to fully concentrate. I’ll keep you posted here with progress in the new year, once I have time to call my own again.

Part of our preparations this year have been putting the finishing touches to Amy’s room. When she moved out in September to go off to Uni it was a very scruffy, tired-lilac coloured, out-grown bedroom with a well worn carpet and walls that bore the pen, make-up and sticky finger marks from the growing-up years. H has worked so hard over the last 2 months, painting, laying a new floor, putting up new lights, moving shelves and generally transforming it into a bright, peaceful and relaxing space fit for a uni student to unwind in between busy term times.ย  Hopefully she’ll love it as much as I do and I can’t wait for her to see it next week when I go and collect her.

The added benefit is that I get to use her new room while she’s away during term times. Because of Toby’s dedication to bi-phasic sleeping* I’ve spent the last 2 years sleeping on a sofa bed in our living room (for years prior to that it was H who was the one sleeping downstairs but we swapped when he had a bad back and needed the firmness of the bed upstairs). It means that H and I can alternate, so that one of us gets unbroken sleep upstairs while the other is on wakeful night duty downstairs. The arrangement works out for us and means when Toby is up roaming the house at night we can encourage him to lie in a bed and watch a video or two (which calms and relaxes him) and then he’ll gradually drift back off to sleep. I do know that standard sleep therapist advice frowns upon screen time before sleep, but our experience over the last 17 years has been that without it Toby becomes increasingly agitated and we get meltdowns – which are a lot more stressful for us all and delay a return to sleep even further, so we’ve been flexible and find that watching videos in the night is the lesser of two evils.

Anyway, the plan is to ease Toby out of coming downstairs when he wakes, first by there being no bed to get into when he does come downstairs, and then by gradually shortening the length of time he spends downstairs in the night. Hopefully over time we’ll eventually be able to encourage him to spend the whole night in his own room, that’s the long term goal anyway ๐Ÿ™‚

Right, I’m off to jot a few more things on my lists. I hope your season of planning and preparation is going well. See you soon, J x

 

*Sleep disorders go hand-in-hand with autism with bi-phasic or multi-phasic sleeping patterns being the most common. Bi phasic sleeping is where the person goes to sleep for 3-4 hours, wakes for 1-2 hours and then sleeps again for 4-5 hours. Research suggests that bi-phasic sleeping was the norm for most people prior to the industrial revolution and there are many descriptions noted in historical literature.ย