I had to share these pictures of Toby sporting a bubble afro in the bath. He has a real thing for bubbles – likes to eat them too and drink gallons of bathwater and always has a major fat nappy about half an hour after his bath! Often autistic kids are compelled to eat strange things – I’ll spare you some of the more disgusting items he’s consumed but some of his previous snacks have consisted of dirt, leaves, erasers, twigs, soap, crayons and a pair of Barbie shoes! It’s one of the reasons I keep him constantly in my sight and why I often have little teeth marks on my fingers from hooking out offending items as quickly as possible! Still, with a face that cute you just have to forgive him!

You can always tell when Toby has been in a room. For a start there’s a tell-tale trail of crumbs from his constant munching (he ‘grazes’ all day), then there’s another trail of discarded clothing (he’ll not wear trousers or socks in the house) but the biggest give-away is the little stacks. Everywhere he goes he is compelled to stack items. It always makes me smile as I wander round the house after he’s gone off to school which is something I need to do today. This last week he’s been very distressed to leave his beloved lego stack at home (school won’t allow him to take it as it ‘distracts’ him). It’s hard to wrench it off him in the mornings and drag him to the school bus crying and screaming while trying to reassure him that lego will be there after school. I’m looking at the battered and chewed lego now, sitting on his little table ready to  be taken up and ‘loved’ when he gets home- who knew lego could be a snuggly?

We had a funny weekend (funny peculiar not funny ha ha!). As Toby gets older and becomes more aware of the world outside his insular one he’s beginning to find changes to routine harder to cope with. He’s also developing a stronger will so although he’s 5 years old he’s really just hitting the terrible two’s tantrum phase – if he wants something and doesn’t get it we know all about it!  Anyway, Saturday was a nightmare day. Toby was very unsettled – probably because he’d had only 2 days back at school and then along comes the weekend (that is NOT his routine!). There was much crying, screaming, flinging and fussing and he ruled the roost with the rest of us mostly doing his bidding in an attempt to have a quiet(ish) life. He finally went to bed at 11pm and we rolled in soon after, completely shattered. So on Sunday we decided to keep busy and got up early to go swimming. The local pool does a fun family session with waves and floats. The kids had a great time but once again we were reminded just how different life is when you’re living with autism. I looked around me at all those happy children, chattering and laughing and playing with their mums and dads and there was Toby – happy as anything, drinking great gulps of pool water, oblivious to all but the ripples in the water and literally screaming with excitement at the waves. I’m long used to ‘funny looks’ and stares from others but it is hard when your child is so obviously different and people make an effort to move away from you. We came home to lunch and then Toby spent the afternoon on his trampoline in the garden.

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Fun you might think – well yes, but Toby has to bounce with no socks and no trousers and it was raining lightly. It goes against all my maternal instincts to let him stay outside for 3 hours and bounce with no trousers in the winter rain but then I’m learning that flexibility is the key to surviving with autism and if he’s happy then we all are! (and I bundled 4 tops on him so he looked like the michelin man with 2 stick legs!) I think my New Year’s resolution this year is to have the confidence to go with my gut instinct and not worry so much what others think, afterall what counts is your kids happiness not the judgement of others. A lofty ambition for me, but I feel so supported by all of you who read and comment on my blog that I might just achieve it. Thanks so much for reading my whitterings and commenting – it means a lot to me!