Category: autism

autism · wildlife

January, beginnings

Julie (little Cotton Rabbits)35 Comments

Well here we are again at the beginning of a new year, I hope it has started well for you.

We’re doing quite well here, Toby coped with going back to college yesterday and the much earlier start to his days and I’ve been slowly but steadily ticking things off my to do list. At the moment all of my focus is on preparing for the cliff edge that we currently face at the end of June when Toby’s college placement finishes. That will mark the end of his 20 years in ‘education’ and a humungous change for our family. I’m spending all of my available time trying to put in place support and community activities for him so that he can have some meaningful activities in his life outside of his home here and that I can continue to have time in which to work on patterns and earn a living.

We’ve had no support of any kind since he turned 18 and so have had to begin all over again with preliminary assessments. If you have ever gone through the process of getting a care assessment and putting in place ongoing care for a loved one you will already know about the mountainous burden of paperwork and the enormity of the continuing task, from setting up new bank accounts to manage direct payments; accounting for every penny spent; interviewing, screening via DBS checks and training personal assistants to manage his needs; researching, visiting and engaging placements for day care. It is all down to families to undertake and organise and is utterly daunting and exhausting. This week has been all about recording on paper the struggle that Toby has with every day life, and it’s really laid me low to bring into sharp focus and put into words everything about his condition that limits his life and the enormous impact that has on our family.

So I am trying my hardest to just concentrate on one small step at a time, and have had to make a very conscious effort to focus on the small positives that have come my way so far this year. I’m sharing them here mostly to remind myself that often it’s the small things that lift a moment from despair to delight.

  • I have a new garden friend, Bob D. Robin, who flies down to the garden table each morning at dawn when I’m preparing breakfast for the chickens, he gets a pinch of sunflower seeds as a thank you for brightening the start of my day with his beautiful song, sung from the topmost branch of the old plum tree.
  • Kit the fox is still visiting, very sporadically over the autumn but a little more frequently these last couple of weeks, though mostly after dark so it’s been hard to get pictures of her. She looks well and has a thick and fluffy winter coat. It’s coming up to mating time so it will be interesting to see if she has a litter this year and whether she visits more frequently if she falls pregnant.
  • Sunrises and sunsets, closer together at this time of year with the short winter days, always have the capacity to bring joy and the vibrant colours splashed across the sky are captivating to watch. I often stand outside with a cup of tea in hand and just enjoy the unfolding spectacle.
  • The weather here has been so mild, wet and windy so far this winter but the coming week sees a change to colder, brighter days so I’m hoping to get out with my camera and find the first snowdrops. The anticipation of seeing their beauty is a small joy at the moment too.
  • Looking back over the pictures that I took during 2023 has brought a lot of pleasure too, the first picture above is a mosaic of a few of my favourites

I hope that you are finding some small joys in your days too and if you’re fearful about impending events in your life this year, I hope that you’re finding ways to move forward with a hopeful heart,

See you soon, J x

autism · countryside · foxes in my garden · wildlife

Spring into summer

Julie (little Cotton Rabbits)32 Comments

The last few weeks have been even more of a roller-coaster ride than usual here. There have been quite deep lows; Toby’s challenging behaviours have been gradually worsening for a while now and the episodes of his self-injuring and violent behaviour have been escalating. He’s been sent home from college on 3 separate occasions for injuring staff and I currently have multi-coloured grip bruises on both of my forearms to add to my growing collection. Like many other families caring for offspring with severe learning and behavioural difficulties, we live with the constant distressing threat of domestic violence from our own child. Working out what is happening with him is an almost impossible task and we’ve spent so much of our recent free time filling out ABC (antecedent, behaviour, consequence) charts and forensically unpicking details of incidents. On top of that I’ve had food poisoning, though happily short-lived and thankfully in the past now.

But it’s not been all bad, we’ve had big highs too, the biggest being Amy passing her driving test first time. We are delighted for her and the newfound independence this gives her. She’s now driving herself to work each day, which has made my early mornings so much easier and has given her such a confidence boost.

And as always nature is such a balm for a troubled heart so I’ve been out and about soaking up the peace and calm that it always brings me. Hawthorn blossom and wild roses, white nettles and cow parsley, buttercups and butterflies and so much green, more shades than have ever been named or mixed on a painter’s palette. May and early June are abundant with much appreciated beauty.

I’ve also been visiting the long horn cattle regularly, study field trips for my in progress cow pattern, but also delightfully entertaining as they are all such characters and there are 5 beautiful calves this year.

And seeing kit the fox is always a big high for me, she often seems to turn up when I’m feeling low and the privilege of her visits lifts me enormously. And yes, she did sniff my camera lens!

There’s one more week until Toby finishes college for this academic year and then he’ll be off for just over 2 months so we’re planning very calm and predictable routines which we’re hoping will help him find a calmer place within himself. I hope to be back periodically over the summer months, but as he’ll be my main focus I might not get as much chance to hang out here as I’d like.

Until next time I hope you have a good July and August and that you too find ways to temper any challenges you are facing with something that brings you joy, J x

 

 

autism · countryside · general stuff · wildlife

Longing for rain

Julie (little Cotton Rabbits)16 Comments

 

We are longing for rain here and we British are not accustomed to making such statements about the weather, on the contrary we’re usually characterised by carrying our umbrellas everywhere and complaining about it being too wet. It has however been so very hot and dry here for the last month and with no rain in the forecast for the next few weeks we are longing for a torrential downpour, though even a light shower would be most welcome. The land is utterly parched and out in the woods the leaves have crisped, turned yellow and fallen, the blackberries are already ripening in the hedgerows and acorns are already well on the way to dropping – as though autumn has already arrived. My pictures in the previous post of the countryside in June now prompt me to feel nostalgic for the green and lush growth that we had throughout the Spring. Everything is now baked dry, bleached out and wizened by the sun and the seasons seem to be all out of kilter. Though on a positive note there have been some amazing sunsets recently.

We’re now half way through Toby’s long summer break from college and we have fallen into a comfortable routine. In the mornings he chooses to stay in bed with his breakfast on a tray and his musical books and duplo to play with. Once he decides to get up he and I head off for a 2-3 mile walk and a picnic lunch. It’s lovely spending time with him outdoors – he loves being outside and is usually at his best, especially when we have a quiet walk and don’t encounter many people or dogs. It’s a nice time together and we’ve mainly walked near to lakes and rivers where it’s a still green and is a little cooler.

I had a couple of objectives to work on with him this summer and those are going well. Firstly I wanted to get him used to carrying his own rucksack with his snack and water bottle inside, that way my backpack isn’t as laden and heavy and I don’t get so worn out at the end of our walks. That has gone really well and he’s now completely used to carrying his own supplies in his backpack – something I’ll be so grateful for in the winter when he’ll also be able to carrying the layers of clothing that he always removes on our winter walks.

My second objective is to get him to choose when to take off his ear defenders and hat without needing to be prompted. He always wears them whenever we go out anywhere as they help him cope with sensory overload, which he frequently struggles with and which often freezes him to the spot or results in a meltdown. When it is quiet and calm (with no barking dogs or human noise) he is relaxed enough to do without them and it’s nice to see him coping without them for at least part of our daily walks.

Thirdly I’m trying to get him used to me stopping to take pictures of things. This is something that has always distressed him and so up to now it’s something I’ve not often done. But being able to take pictures will make our walks more fulfilling and enjoyable for me and so with my eye on future life after college when he’ll be my constant walking companion I’ve decided to start what will probably be a long process, so far with mixed results, though as you can see I have managed to get a few pictures on our recent walks.

On the knitting front there’s not much to show, my fingers get all fat and fumbly in the hot weather but in between looking after Toby’s every need I am slowly working on small versions of some of my animal patterns and also on some sweaters, coats and cardis for the smaller 7 inch sized animals. Once Toby is back into his term time routine in September I’ll be free to step up the pace on these patterns and will keep you posted here.

Hopefully see you again soonish, ’til then be well and happy x