Hello hello, long time no see.
I’ve been holding off writing until things felt settled with Toby’s new routines in the hope that I could be all positive and upbeat. And for a few weeks at the end of July it did indeed feel like we were heading into calm waters, but just recently things have got a little more choppy again.
We did have 3 day care sessions of roughly 6 hours each in place for Toby to attend at 3 different lovely settings, and he did seem to be gradually adapting to them, but last week he hurt a member of staff at one of them and so obviously they can no longer have him, so we’re down to 2 sessions per week, one on a Monday and one on Wednesday. He’s so big and strong and coupled with being easily upset and unpredictable this makes it very hard for others to care for him whilst keeping everyone safe, and there is simply a dire lack of suitable provision for those like Toby with more severe learning disabilities and challenging behavioural issues.
This does mean that we’re having to rethink everything in a way that works for us all, and it’s taking some getting used to. My brain keeps saying ‘don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to get things done in September’ and then I have this weird, almost dizzying sensation when the other side of my brain reminds me that there is no more school or college, there will be no extra time, this is how things are now. It is most disconcerting.
It also means I’m having to plan out how I can keep running little cotton rabbits as a business, as working on patterns, answering emails and blogging will all have to be fitted in to less time than I had originally planned for. I’m currently making lots of lists and ranking my weekly parcels of time into high and low value blocks so that I can work out what I can get done and when.
All is not despair though. As always Toby is very happy to have his long lie-ins and daily walks with either of us, and he’s been very calm and happy on his full days here at home, so that remains a thankfully big positive in all of our lives.
These are some pictures from some of our walks together, despite many years of trying Toby still does not like me stopping to take photos on our walks, so I have to squeeze them in whilst he’s naturally distracted. The countryside around us is still very green, though signs of a seasonal change are starting to creep in, with more seed heads than flowers out in the meadows and the first fungi springing up in the undergrowth. We’ve had the usual August mix of sunshine and heavy downpours, so some glorious skies and a few double rainbows have been beautiful overhead sights.
Knitting here has been restricted to one scarf and a few pairs of socks, mostly because my brain has needed very simple projects during this transition time. I’m hoping to start pattern writing again this coming week and will keep you posted of any progress.
Lastly Bluebell, our one remaining hen, succumbed to old age at the end of last month, she was nine and three-quarters, a most respectable age for a chicken, we brought her and two others to live with us in March 2015 when they were point of lay, so a few months old. We’ll not have more I think, there’s a feeling of wanting to pare down and simplify life as much as possible here, but I will miss having animals to tend to, especially as the foxes seem to have currently disappeared from the garden, as they so often do at this time of year.
Well, I will be back here on the blog, not sure when yet, but hopefully at least once a month or so, so until then I hope all is well in your own little corner of the world, thanks as always for stopping by to visit with me, J x
little cotton rabbits 
From distant NZ Julie you are in my daily prayers. I do hope you can find time for your knitting as it is obviously your means of snatching time for yourself. Please know that so many of us think you are a wonder so I hope in some small way you feel the positive thoughts sent from around the world.
Hi Julie. It’s lovely to hear from you. You and your family always come first and I hope everything works out 😘. We all love your work. I’m busy re knitting the jumpers for my granddaughters animals for the winter. You can never have enough outfits 🤣. Take care and enjoy the time you get to yourself xx
From Lisbon, I wish all the best for you and your family. I’m sure you will find a way, although it’s hard. I have a 4 year old grandson with some autism problems and is very worring. So, I understand yr concerns.
You are so talented, your work is “simply rhe best”!!!!
Take care, wish you all the best.
Love from Isabel xxxxxx
I love reading your blog and have followed you for several years. Your patterns and animals are beautiful. I think you do an amazing job with Toby and I do hope you can find sometime to continue your knitting.
Best wishes to you
Sue
Thank you for your news, Julie . I am sure that your life is very challenging and at some times overwhelming . I suppose all you can do is take things one day at a time . Little Cotton Rabbits will always be there in the background and can take a back seat now and then while you deal with more present issues . All best wishes to you, Katharine
i send joy to your life from ireland just like you bring joy to mind
From the US – thank you for the lovely photos of your world. You demonstrate perfectly to take the opportunities to find the beauty amidst difficult challenges. Just know you have a myriad of prayers, love, and support all over the world as you navigate your new and ever changing life dynamics. Knitting your animals have helped me through some of my own overwhelming detours in life – as I’m sure they’ve helped so many others. They just absorb the tears and remind us to love and smile again. Thank you for your gift to us and all the best as you work- and rework- plans for life. We are with you!
Julie, thank you for bringing a bit of joy into my life with your creativity. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Know that in your strength you have and will continue to bring comfort to many people—not just the ones immediately surrounding you. Laury
Wishing you and your family all the best, in such hard times you are dealing with. Little cotton Rabbiters will still be creating beautiful creations because of your great patterns, and we all thank you for them. Look after yourself, love to you all. ❤️from Australia.
I agree with others that you are a wonder, julie. The new situation sounds so difficult for all of you. I’m so happy your beautiful walks are a joy for both you and Toby, although he doesn’t like when you stop for photos. I hope it will become clearer what can replace his school and how you’ll all manage going forward. I so appreciate your sharing both your life and amazing patterns. Best wishes to you always.
Hello from Florida,
I love seeing your photos and reading your posts. I can really identify with you, since I have a handicapped daughter who needs lots of care. Thank God we did find a wonderful residential place where she now lives. That gives me time to knit your beautiful patterns, as well as crochet, bake , and work in my garden. Wishing you the best, max God give you strength and patience.
My prayers are with you and your family. Caring for a special need family member is a full time job. I am so blessed with the joy you bring to my life with your LCR and your beautiful photos. I hope you feel the joy you bring to others . Take care of yourself and your family first. We will all be here enjoying knitting your beautiful creations and sending you thoughts of peace and love. God grant you peace and resolution to Toby’s care needs.
Hello from Devon
Thank you so much Julie for your lovely patterns. I have given your dear little creatures to new babies and young children. They have been so admired, you are a truly talented lady. Your love for your son is amazing. Take some time out. We will look forward to hearing from you when you are ready.
Hello Julie from Arizona, USA,
Thank you once again for the beautiful photos from your walk. They bring back fond memories of growing up in Hampshire. I so appreciate your newsletters and your honesty about your daily challenges with Toby. Such difficult times but, hopefully, you will be able to find a new peaceful normal for you and your family. Sending you a virtual comforting hug. 😘
From Lisbon, with hugs and love. My positive thoughts are with you. I always try to look at the good things of everyday, but sometimes it’s harder to find them.
Thanks for your sharing with us your everyday thoughts and the beautiful photos
As always so good to get an update and your beautiful pictures – even if you have to snap them hurriedly, you capture such beautiful essence! I am so sorry about Bluebell too. Mt last hen Beatrice passed at 10 (several years ago). I too didn’t get more hens, but I still miss them. They are such calming little souls. You continue to be in my thoughts as your life takes on a new phase. Sending my love. – Heidi
Good to hear from you! Life is always about transitions. You see this in nature, children, business. Love that you are free to share your journey with us. Hugs!
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your beautiful photos and your life with us. I know I appreciate your honesty and care and pray that you all will find your way through for the future. I also pray that your serenity and balance will continue to serve you well. Your son is very lucky to have such a loving mother. All the best.
Beautiful photos. I am relieved to hear that Toby is happy with his home days, long may it last. I hope Toby manages to stay calm on his two days out of home.I hope it is just a case of settling into a new routine which is challenging for him. Try to stay positive and make your to do list realistic then anything extra is a bonus.
Oh how I wish I could wave a wand that would solve these pressing problems–and then the loss of your dear chicken on top of everything else. I see that many of your readers are praying for you, I will daily also. Please know that many so appreciate your creativity, and I hope there are some good days ahead.
Hello from America’s heartland of Indiana. I eagerly look forward to reading your blog entries. Your photographs are so lovely and calming. Life is challenging and you and your family navigate it well. Toby is a very lucky son to have such caring and love shown to him. I pray for an swift answer to Toby’s care. Your patterns convey such love and care for your craft. They are perfect for our gift giving. Thank you for sharing your many talents with us all.
Dear Julie,
Thank you for more beautiful photos of your walks. I’m sorry to hear that Toby can only have two days away from you but hopefully something else will appear. I know full well how difficult it is to stay positive but it’s better for us to be like that, both mentally and physically. Sending love and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
So sorry part of your plans fell through. Thoughts and prayers. I love your photos and letters when you are able to post them. I made my granddaughters a couple of your cute bunnies!
Dear Julie,
Sending warm thoughts and a hug from the US. I am hopeful that some new plans can be made that will afford you some peaceful time for whatever brings you joy. We have all benefited from your talents in creating so many charming patterns, and the toys that we have made have been enjoyed by so many.
Wishing you all the best,
Susan
Sorry to hear things haven’t gone to plan for you Julie, I really hope something else will come up for Toby.
Sorry too to hear about your little hen … and fingers crossed your fox friends return to your garden which of course they may well do come autumn time.
Beautiful pics as always,
V x
Hello Julie,
Thank you for making the time to share your very special photos of both your world and of Toby. Glad his home days are going well.
Thinking of you and your family every time I knit one of your designs, there’s always one or another on my needles. Your patterns have brought such joy at our end.
Sending prayers for time for you and more support for Toby,
H xx
It is a tragedy that it is difficult to find adequate care facilities for special needs individuals. You are not alone, if that is any comfort. Like many of us working with our hands keeps us calm and helps us through life. I am sure you need that! Take care and always remember the joy you have brought thousands of knitters.
So happy to bask in your beautiful photos. I LOVE the mushroom. You are so talented in so many ways. And have an eye for capturing beauty wherever you go. Thanks for sharing a bit of your life with us, especially when you have so many tasks on your plate. I hope Toby can settle and that you can find time for yourself to recharge and rest. You’re in my thoughts every day. Sending love from the USA.
Xxx Bonnie
Woohoo! So glad to read your post today! Beautifully pics and I’m so sorry for you hen Bluebell! As someone mentioned above it’s seems really hard to find adequate care facilities for special needs individuals in UK. I think it’s easier in Sweden! I really hope with time you all figure out a way to continue your journey with the family. We will really miss your patterns but fully understand if you have to cut down for awhile. Take care and sending my wishes for more support for Toby. XX
Thanks for carving out time for this enjoyable post. My immediate thought upon seeing the hen was “What a beautiful bird!” I am sorry she has passed on. Would have enjoyed seeing more of her.
I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for Toby and those who love him. I am happy that he has you for a parent though. I hope he is too. Sending love to you both.
Be well.
An admirer.
Take care Julie, so many of your followers will still be here whenever you are able. I often quote …. Sometimes being strong is all you’ve got.
Stay strong, much love. Jill Westgarth
Thanks for the updates! I work at a school in the US for students like Toby, though “my kids” are 11-14 y.o. Post-school transition plans have so many complex pieces, and it can be so frustrating when those plans change. I hope your knitting and photography can continue to be an outlet. All the best!
Dear Julie, it’s a rubbish system that there is so little care or help in place. I worked in a secondary school for nearly 15 years and witnessed families struggling with situations similar to yours whilst trying to keep the rest of their life on track. I don’t know if there’s any financial help available and I’m sure you’ve already investigated getting regular in-house care to help Toby and realise it will take much time to build up a rapport with new carers/helpers. After rambling on and not being able to offer much help I just want you to know that I very much sympathise with what you are going through. Take care.
I’m so sorry that you have lost one of the days for Toby. I am thinking of you all and hoping that you are able to find a little time for yourself amongst everything. CJ xxxxx
Just wanted to share this with you and Toby, it’s helped me in the past … The Maori word for Autism is “Takiwatanga”, it means: “In their own time and space”. Possibly good words for us caregivers and parents as well. Sending good thoughts and peaceful moments for you both.
I’m knitting one of your rabbits for my Mum’s friend’s granddaughter (!) at the moment so just popped on to the website for a quick browse. The last time I read your blog Toby was much younger and I was surprised to see how much time has passed. He certainly looks like a very strong person now (literally). And I’m sure you must have also become even stronger caring for him. My thoughts are with you and I hope you continue to do the things you enjoy doing, in addition to enjoying those special moments you get with your son. You have brought so much pleasure to so many people around the world – don’t ever forget that! Best wishes for continued happiness x
Julie,
Beautiful photos!
Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.
Julie, sending you greetings from Canada! My thoughts are with you. Take all the time you need, we wish you the best!
Barb