knitting, nature and living with autism in the family
Well, school is all finished for the autumn term and we're cranking up the excitement levels here in anticipation of christmas day. I'm going to take a 2 week break while the children are off school and will be back in the New Year.
Until then, Merry Christmas to you and those you love from all of us and the little cotton rabbits x
Thanks so much all of your kind comments on toilet training. Reading about other people's experiences makes me feel better about where we are with it all and I'm happy to think that writing about our experiences here may help others to feel less alone in their own difficult situations. That sharing of ideas and experiences is definitely one of the best things about blogging, thanks so much for being part of that.
It's been a busy few days here full of final trips to the post office, chrismas preparations and most importantly school plays. Amy did so well playing her violin and singing in her school concert – she made us very proud (and a little misty-eyed) but that wasn't the only thing that has brought a tear to my eye this week. I've been so touched by the kindness and generosity of others as the postman has been knocking quite a few times on my door this week!
Firstly there was such a sweet parcel from Kat with a beautiful handmade lace cuff, gorgeous handmade cards and a little magical butterfly for Amy
and then a lovely parcel arrived from Laura at Robson & Mason with ribbons galore, buttons and pins
I was really touched when this parcel arrived from Zoe. The beautifully wrapped package was temptingly squishy and on opening revealed the most gorgeous Posh Yarns (I shall be making a beautiful scarf with these)
And then, as if I wasn't spolit enough already, a large and mysterious box arrived. Having seen the Sweet Nellie return address my fingers couldn't open it fast enough and inside was the very handsome Hershel sent from the incredibly generous and thoughtful Shawn Mary. Of course Hortense is swooning with delight at her new beau and they look so wonderful sat closely together.
Many, many thanks go out to these kind and generous people and to all of you who have sent lovely messages recently. Blogland is a truly lovely place and really does warm your heart.
I have been a bit grumpy recently and, when I think about it, it has a lot to do with Toby's toilet training. It's been 10 long months of hard work without achieving very much and it's wearying in the extreme!
When we first started to take him out of nappies back in early spring he just held it in all day which is not so great for although this shows excellent bladder control he wasn't learning to go when he needed to. By the time he got home from school he was obviously bursting and I had to resist the urge to whip a nappy on him the minute he came through the door. Instead I used to shadow his every move and attempt to divert him to the toilet before a puddle situation developed. He doesn't respond well to any adult directed activity so
being made to sit didn't impress him a whole lot (in other words he
had supercell, screaming meltdowns) and most days we're both in tears within half an hour of him
arriving home and to top it all we ended up with a puddle anyway! In those early days he hated the toilet and I did too!
All through the summer when he was running around naked in the garden he'd just stop and water the grass and to honest there wasn't much I could do about it although we did try and get him to wee in a bucket to get him used to the idea of weeing into a receptacle!
When the days started to turn colder as autumn arrived he was inside the house more than outside and there were around 6 or 7 puddles a day to mop up. Then we had a little breakthrough in that he started to wee over the side of the bath (although not perfect, a much better prospect than puddle mopping!) He started this all by himself and was quite insistent on shutting the door and having some privacy. I have a feeling I might be responsible for confusing things for him as I'd been saying in a loud and
encouraging way 'Toby wee wee' everytime he did a wee while having a bath each night.
My intention was to get him to associate the word with the action but I think it may just have reinforced that peeing into the bath is the way to go! I really should know better as I'm well aware that an autistic mind is often extremely literal!
Now I shall have to do a bit of creative thinking to persuade him to switch to the
toilet! The fact that he is
actually weeing on the toilet fairly consistently at school now is very encouraging but again this is common autistic behaviour – to understand something in one setting and yet be unable to apply the same thing in a different place.
With Toby I have learnt to approach everything in very small steps and it's only when you look back that you begin to realise they were actually leading in the right direction – just not a very direct route! I dread to think about how we'll tackle poo – for now it's a nappy situation and I'll need to marshall my reserves before we try and get him to use the toilet for that! Someone told me to expect toilet training to take at least 2-4 years and I have a feeling they could be spot on!
My main advice to anyone starting toilet training a special needs child is to de-stress your life as much as possible before you start and be prepared to go with the flow (sorry about the pun). The hardest thing is to keep going even when you feel that you're getting nowhere. I'm glad though that after 10 months it finally begins to feel like we may be edging slowly closer to our goal of getting our 7 year old son out of nappies and I remain confident that we will get there one day.
Incidentally, while we're on the subject I know that toileting issues are not limited to children with special needs and that many families experience the anguish and stress of continence problems. Recently Mary sent me some information about the wonderful work of the charity E.R.I.C .
"About 1 in 12 young people in the UK struggle with bedwetting,
daytime wetting, constipation and soiling (sometimes called
incontinence or continence problems). At ERIC, we know how worrying and
stressful these difficulties can be.
That’s why
ERIC is dedicated to supporting children and young people, their
families and health professionals. We provide information, confidential
support, services and resources. Something can often be done to make a
positive difference and ERIC is here to help!"
It's worth taking a look at this video which does such a great job of explaining their work here.
Thanks for reading x
little cotton rabbits 