woolly wonderfulness

February 10, 2011 Julie (little Cotton Rabbits)75 Comments

Thanks again to everyone who has left me such kind messages over the last few weeks. I was hoping to write a fabulously glowing post about the wonders of melatonin but unfortunately the reality hasn't quite matched up to our expectation. Things are however slightly improved as the melatonin is having a positive effect at bedtime – Toby has been settling to sleep much more calmly and at a more reasonable time (between 9.30 – 10.30pm most nights). The effect is short lived though as he's still waking every night around 5 hours after going to sleep. Most nights he's been awake for around 2 hours before settling back to sleep but this morning he decided to start the day at 3.36am so he'll hopefully be a tired little bunny later (as opposed to a grumpy one!).

I've stayed in my jammies again today and have curled up with my needles and some rather scrumptious new wool…

Pure merino yarn, kettle and hand-dyed in toast, violin, cinnabar, beige and rich chocolate (wouldn't it be great to have a job dreaming up yarn names? I don't think I'd have settled for beige though, I'd have preferred cookie dough or shortbread).

It's good that knitting is not especially taxing as I think it's about all I can manage after such an early start. It's lucky too that I've made so many bunnies over the years as if I do doze off shortly I could probably carry on knitting them in my sleep!

onwards and upwards

February 3, 2011 Julie (little Cotton Rabbits)56 Comments

All of the meetings to try and get some help for Toby have now taken place and we have some new strategies to implement – things that give increased structure and predictability to Toby's day which will hopefully lessen some of his anxiety. Our appointed social worker is lovely and very easy to talk to and she will continue to see us over the next few months and monitor our situation before deciding whether respite is appropriate or not. Toby's teacher and speech therapist are continuing to provide daily feedback and ideas and the paediatrician recognised that Toby needs some help to manage life at the moment and has prescribed melatonin to hopefully help him settle and get a good night's sleep. This is potentially the most impactful development for us right now as we're all exhausted from almost a month of only a few hours of sleep a night punctuated by extremely stressful episodes of tantruming from poor Toby. The prospect of a full 8 hours is pure bliss right now and I'm looking forward to getting the prescription through (hopefully in the next day or two).

So life here is looking more hopeful again and things are starting to feel manageable once more. Even my little hyacinth bulb is echoing the mood of optimism and is now in full bloom.

In terms of feeling postitive and optimistic, a little retail therapy never goes amiss does it? I'm normally drawn to shoes of a reddish nature but it was love at first sight with these spring green ones and I'm liking the thought that they're walking me back to happier times.

Thanks so much for all of the kind messages and sorry to everyone who is still waiting on a reply from me. I'm slowly working to catch up a little and things will hopefully speed up further once sleep has worked it's way back into our schedule!

autism

a little hope

January 25, 2011 Julie (little Cotton Rabbits)54 Comments

Thank you so much for all of the wonderfully caring and supportive comments and emails, it really does lift my spirits to read them.

Although there has been no change in Toby's extreme behaviour I am feeling a little more hopeful that we are moving towards some changes to help both him and us cope. Tomorrow we are having a visit from social services who are coming to assess what of the available respite options might help our situation. On thursday Toby's teacher and speech therapist are coming for a home visit to observe and suggest ideas to help him manage his increased anxiety and, thanks to the school, we have been able to step into a cancelled appointment to see the paediatrician next tuesday.

So, it feels like things are moving in the right direction and that people are understanding the extreme nature of Toby's increased distress and it's impact on Amy and us. I am daring to hope that these meetings result in some practical help for our little family as it feels like life is on hold for us at the moment.

A friend sent me a quote yesterday which resonated for me and I share it now in the hope of helping anyone else out there enduring difficult times, because we all have them don't we?

"You don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice that you have" (source unknown)

If things are hard in your life at the moment, I wish you strength and the blossoming of a little hope for you too.