Today is World Autism Awareness day and people all over the world are trying to increase awareness in the hope of fostering better understanding, tolerance and inclusion for those with autism. My 7 year old son is severely autistic and despite living with this diagnosis for over 5 years we still struggle to cope with the enormity of it all and the impact his autism has had on our family. It's frightening to read that more children will be diagnosed with
autism this year in the developed world than with diabetes, cancer,
& AIDS combined.
Since starting my blog I've been very lucky to have had contact with many other parents of autistic children and the sharing of experiences and information has been invaluable. Having an autistic child is not something that you really learn to cope with or get over. You are torn in two because you adore your child and yet at the same dearly wish you could banish their autism. At the same time autism makes them who they are. You learn to live one day at a time and try not to fear the future. If you're interested and have 7 minutes to spare there is a video here made by mums of autistic children which gives a glimpse into some aspects of daily life.
I write about Toby's autism in the hope that sharing my experiences
will help other parents in the same position and also with the aim of giving anyone with no personal
experience of autism a little understanding of the condition. Understanding helps promote tolerance in the general community and hopefully means less judgement and hostility towards people who are different and more inclusion generally. We don't need to change autistic people, just our attitude towards them. As always I'm hugely grateful for the tolerance and understanding that always meets me here, but then you are an enlightened and big-hearted crowd and I love you for that. Thanks x
PS: I've added a new page with a little information on Autism here.
little cotton rabbits 
Hi Julie, I have just watched the video, it is very touching. I work with some students who are on the autistic spectrum but I understand the spectrum is vast. I am always learning. The awareness that you raise is so important. Just wanted to send you lots of love xxx
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My nephew is autistic so this is especially on my mind today.x
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an inspiring and informative post. I work with so many Moms who deal with such difficult things in their family life. I think the more information and the more awareness there is out there the better for all in so many different ways.
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Autism is one of ‘those things’ that often people have heard about, but don’t understand, and I hope that your post, together with the video and the awareness day go some way to re-dressing that balance. As a mother with a child who shows some behaviours on a par with the Autism spectrum, but who is not autistic (she has Reactive Attachment Disorder) I can empathise with the struggles you face.
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I follow your blog and have read the good days and the bad and I am almost sure that there are days you do not share with the rest of us. We think of you even on those days. As a teacher, Autism has been an unknown that has had to become a known over the past couple of years. This semester, I have three Autistic students – two in the same class. I want them to succeed, to graduate. I want them to be happy, to learn. They have blessed me as a teacher and taught me so much of myself. As a sister to a developmentally disabled brother, I believe I have been prepared to deal with all the many kinds of students who enter in my classroom. Dan is my hero. He is my friend and as it turns out he, without our knowledge, taught me the love and understanding necessary to teach in a school where one of eight of my students have some sort of disability. He called 21 times yesterday. 🙂 ~Kelly
unDeniably Domestic
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Beautifully written post Julie.
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A girl in my 5th grade class had a brother with autism, we all collected stuff to raise money for a fundraiser for autism.
Your post was inspiring, thanks Julie!
Kendall
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Thanksk Julie for posting this, I hope to get it posted on my blog too:-) My daughter has Asperger’s , a high functioning autism. I know your challenges and there are good days and then there are hard days. I have been homeschooling her since Kindy and now she is in 4th, I am just putting her in school as I can’t keep up with what she needs really. It is nice to have a network on the web to share—thanks!
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I just watched the video and sobbed all the way through it. Our 6yr old is awaiting a formal diagnosis but we suspect he may have Aspergers. I know our life is relatively “normal” compared to more severely affected children, but it still impacts on us everyday. Well done for raising awareness.
Rachel x
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My son has a friend with Asperger’s … which, as I’m sure you know, is on the spectrum. He is a lovely boy, and the other kids just love him for being ‘J’ and don’t seem to even notice his ‘condition’ (for want of a better term). He just is what he is … as we all are what we are.
I’ll wear my Austism Awareness ribbon on my jacket when I go out later.
x
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Another brilliant blog Julie! We are very proud of how you cope and love you to bits!!
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I am someone who knows very little about autism and have no personal experience with it -yet. Thank you for helping me learn. The video brought me to tears.
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Huge hugs to you and to Toby and his sister from Canada. 🙂 Having worked with a beautiful little boy with autism, I understand the relentlessness of the condition partially. I could go home at the end of the day, though, as the mums in hte video and you are not able to. What lovely children the video shows, and what heartbreaking love the mothers give them. Watching the children made me miss my little fellow so dearly. I loved working with him. Families with autisic children are heros.
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I new very little about autism until I started managing a primary school kitchen. We have several autistic children and although I know the staff have to work very hard with them I have to say they are such rewarding and lovable little people. I take my hat off to you as you seem to have a great balance managing to fit your life in as well as caring for Toby. BTW-never stop blogging, yours is my faourite and I pop in often. Joy x
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I’ve just watched the video Julie. I was deeply moved. Thank you for bringing this to our attention and also for your beautifully written post today.
Love to you all but especially to Toby today.
Zoe x
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Though I work in social care, I work with adults and didn’t realise so many children (and families) are affected by autism.
Thanks for sharing the video; it’s greatly helped with my (unintentional) lack of awareness on this subject.
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thankyou Julie your blog made me cry as a learning disability nurse autism is something i deal with daily but parents like you are truely special and make my job so so much easier Toby is very lucky to have such a fab mum
Jane xx
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We have some friends who because of distance we don’t see that often.their son is autistic and in a special school.Your blog and the bits about Toby have given me a real insight of what life is really like living with this condition.Please keep it up.I ,for one, have missed you not blogging as often as you used to.When I log on I try you first and am really disappointed when there isn’t any news about your family,Autism and of course the hens.How are they?
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I am vey glad you talk so open about Toby.
We have two sons with Asperger. We love them very much, but sometimes years count double for us.
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Your stories and willingness to share give me a lot of empathy for moms in your situation. I don’t know if that helps anyone a hill of beans, but it is there, for what its worth. I know you struggle daily and thousands of moms across the globe do as well, so your insights might give someone a bit of hope to keep carrying on, KWIM?
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BTW I don’t have an autistic child but I am raising a RADish. Different challenges but leaves me in tears many a day.
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Inspiring blog and video Julie. Autism doesn’t go away….but neither does the love and determination of the people who care for the children. Jenni x
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Very moving video Julie, the comment from your mum made me tear up too. I can’t begin to imagine the challenges, the ups and downs. Thank you for sharing.
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what a fantastic post, i know what you mean….i would love to be able to take away J’s autism and make life easier for him, but i wouldn’t want to change him either xxx
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I watched this video and cryed… I have 9 years old son with asperger syndrome. Sometimes I feel so so tired myself!
Best wishes for everybody, who have autistic child!
Juulike
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Thanks so much for providing this link Julie – I watched it and learned a great deal about everyday life with autism. This is a very moving post.
Emma x
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I have spent the afternoon hearing a talk about ASD and the challenges faced by parents and teachers to provide a less anxious environment for them to flourish in. I have had limited experience of the daily reality of this disorder and I feel now I have a more informed point of view of how to support children with ASD in the school where I work. There seems to be a great deal of predjudice in this world and not enough empathy with the carers of these lovely children.
Sue
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I blogged about you…hope you don’t mind!! I just wanted to share the Little Cotton Rabbits love!! Happy Spring! Heather
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My nephew is 26, and severly autistic, with a mental of about 2 or 3 years old. I adore Ashely! He loves to color, play fetch with his dog and play with plush toys that dance and sing when you squeeze a paw or something like that. His smiles makes the hole world light up and I am proud to be his aunt.
My 10 year old daughter has asperger, not as severe as Ashley, but she never fits in because it is obvious she is not normal and she knows the other kids don’t accept her being ‘different’.
It is tough, all around, but she can be a blessing in the most unexpected ways.
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Incredible video dear Julie. I enjoyed your honesty. Brought to tears too, but I am so glad you made us aware of this very special day for Autism.
Blessings,
Deb
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I admire you even more now that I’ve watched the video, Julie – how you create such beautiful work (like the rabbit in the pot of daffodils in your latest blog – too darling for words!) and cope with an autistic son is beyond me. My heart goes out to all those coping with an autistic child. Like many of your readers, the video made me weep, as did your mum’s comment. Thank-you for helping me to have a better appreciation of autism. Love to you, Toby, Amy and Huw. Happy Easter. Mary x
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I have 4 children and 2 of them are on the autistic spectrum. One has ‘classic’ autism and the other has aspergers. They are both pretty mild in comparison to some cases and they both have speech. I sometimes wish they would be a bit less vocal lol. My youngest screams at high pitch yet has hearing sensitivity. An ambulance set it’s siren off just as it was going past us the other day and freaking out doesn’t even begin to describe it.
When my 10 year old was diagnosed he was 9 and the support was pretty much rubbish for his age group. Infact it was nonexistent. In complete comparison my 5 year old was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago with aspergers and we were immediately given details of all sorts of support groups because he is younger.
There are a number of groups on Facebook saying they have a cure. Well what a load of rubbish. There is no cure and the only way things can get better are if you learn how to deal with situations as they arise. They will have it lifelong but they and us can learn to deal with things in different ways to overcome difficulties.
It is nice to know we are not alone although sometimes it feels like it.
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As a parent of a daughter with Autism, I’m proud to say that you will never get “tolerance” from me. You will get empathy, compassion, understanding, and if I run into you and you are having a difficult situation with your son, I will come forward and offer to help instead of staring at you with pity. You are so right that society needs to change and accept others that are different. And teaching our children about differences and to have empathy for others is where it probably needs to start. Everyone deserves to be appreciated for who they are, not simply tolerated. I know that is what I wish for my daughter. I wish that for every child on the spectrum. My absolute best wishes for you and your family. –Melanie
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Julie, As a mother of a child with autism, I thank you for your blog and for posting the AutismSpeaks video. I get so tired of watching videos at fundraising functions watching the kids getting smiles and high fives from teachers with sweet background music playing. Yes, these things happen, but these videos don’t let people know what’s really going on. It’s not all smiles. But you know what, reading your blog every now and then, it seems like you’ve created quite a beautiful life for yourself and your family. And that makes me smile. Thanks for your inspiration. Mary Beth
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